How Well Do You Know Your Fairy Tales? Not Disney Versions; I Mean, REAL Fairy Tales?

Posted on by June 26, 2010
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Mamacita says:  It’s quiz time again!  This time, our topic is fairy tales, which were, as everyone once knew but few people remember now, never intended for children at all.  Don’t get me wrong: I love the Disney animated fairy tales, but I’m also a fairy tale purist, and the cleaning up of those gory old stories took a lot of the “cool” out of them.  Disney versions have happy endings, too, which few of the actual stories had.

Here’s your task:  Read the first and last lines of each tale and see if you know the title.  You might surprise yourself in more ways than one!  (The first line will be first and the last line will be, duh, last.)  Well, you know, some people require explicit instructions.  Sigh.

1. There was once a young fellow who enlisted as a soldier, conducted himself bravely, and was always the foremost when it rained bullets.

In the evening, some one knocked at the door, and when the bridegroom opened it, it was the Devil in his green coat, who said, “Seest thou, I have now got two souls in the place of thy one!”

2. A soldier came marching along the high road: “Left, right—left, right.”

The wedding festivities lasted a whole week, and the dogs sat at the table, and stared with all their eyes.

3. One summer’s morning a little tailor was sitting on his table by the window; he was in good spirits, and sewed with all his might.

So the little tailor was a king and remained one, to the end of his life.

4. There was was once a woman who wished very much to have a little child, but she could not obtain her wish.

The swallow sang, “Tweet, tweet,” and from his song came the whole story.

5. A certain man had a donkey, which had carried the corn-sacks to the mill indefatigably for many a long year; but his strength was going, and he was growing more and more unfit for work.

And the mouth of him who last told this story is still warm.

6. Once upon a time there was a prince who wanted to marry a princess; but she would have to be a real princess.

There, that is a true story.

7. The wife of a rich man fell sick, and as she felt that her end was drawing near, she called her only daughter to her bedside and said, “Dear child, be good and pious, and then the good God will always protect thee, and I will look down on thee from heaven and be near thee.”

And thus, for their wickedness and falsehood, they were punished with blindness as long as they lived.

8. Far out in the ocean, where the water is as blue as the prettiest cornflower, and as clear as crystal, it is very, very deep; so deep, indeed, that no cable could fathom it: many church steeples, piled one upon another, would not reach from the ground beneath to the surface of the water above.

But when we see a naughty or a wicked child, we shed tears of sorrow, and for every tear a day is added to our time of trial!

9. There was once on a time a Fisherman who lived with his wife in a miserable hovel close by the sea, and every day he went out fishing.

And there they are living still at this very time.

10. Many, many years ago lived an emperor, who thought so much of new clothes that he spent all his money in order to obtain them; his only ambition was to be always well dressed.

And the chamberlains walked with still greater dignity, as if they carried the train which did not exist.

11. There were once five-and-twenty tin soldiers, who were all brothers, for they had been made out of the same old tin spoon.

But of the little dancer nothing remained but the tinsel rose, which was burnt black as a cinder.

12. There was a man who had three sons, the youngest of whom was called Dummling, and was despised, mocked, and put down on every occasion.

After the King’s death, Dummling inherited the kingdom and lived a long time contentedly with his wife.

13. It was lovely summer weather in the country, and the golden corn, the green oats, and the haystacks piled up in the meadows looked beautiful.

Then he rustled his feathers, curved his slender neck, and cried joyfully, from the depths of his heart, “I never dreamed of such happiness as this, while I was an _____ ________.” (dead giveaway, sorry)

14. There was a certain merchant who had two children, a boy and a girl; they were both young, and could not walk.

On this they tried to seize him and pressed upon him, but he drew his sword and said, “All heads off but mine,” and all the heads rolled on the ground, and he alone was master, and once more King of the Golden Mountain.

15. Far down in the forest, where the warm sun and the fresh air made a sweet resting-place, grew a pretty little fir-tree; and yet it was not happy, it wished so much to be tall like its companions— the pines and firs which grew around it.

Now all was past; the tree’s life was past, and the story also,—for all stories must come to an end at last.

16. A long time ago there were a King and Queen who said every day, “Ah, if only we had a child!” but they never had one.

And then the marriage of the King’s son with Briar-rose was celebrated with all splendour, and they lived contented to the end of their days.

17. You must attend to the commencement of this story, for when we get to the end we shall know more than we do now about a very wicked hobgoblin; he was one of the very worst, for he was a real demon.

And they both sat there, grown up, yet children at heart; and it was summer,—warm, beautiful summer.

18. Once upon a time in the middle of winter, when the flakes of snow were falling like feathers from the sky, a queen sat at a window sewing, and the frame of the window was made of black ebony.

Then she was forced to put on the red-hot shoes, and dance until she dropped down dead.

19. It was terribly cold and nearly dark on the last evening of the old year, and the snow was falling fast.

No one imagined what beautiful things she had seen, nor into what glory she had entered with her grandmother, on New-year’s day.

20. There was once a widow who had two daughters — one of whom was pretty and industrious, whilst the other was ugly and idle.

But the pitch stuck fast to her, and could not be got off as long as she lived.

21. There was once a merchant that had three daughters, and he loved them better than himself.

And that’s why, to this day, the castle is known as the Castle of the Rose.

22. There were once a man and a woman who had long, in vain, wished for a child.

Two of her tears wetted his eyes and they grew clear again, and he could see with them as before, and he led her to his kingdom where he was joyfully received, and they lived for a long time afterwards, happy and contented.

23. There was a king who had twelve beautiful daughters.

So the king asked the soldier which of the princesses he would choose for his wife; and he answered, ‘I am not very young, so I will have the eldest.’ — and they were married that very day, and the soldier was chosen to be the king’s heir.

24. There was once upon a time a poor miller who had a very beautiful daughter.

“Some demon has told you that! Some demon has told you that!” screamed the little man, and in his rage drove his right foot so far into the ground that it sank in up to his waist; then in a passion he seized the left foot with both hands and tore himself in two.

25. One fine evening a young princess put on her bonnet and clogs, and went out to take a walk by herself in a wood; and when she came to a cool spring of water with a rose in the middle of it, she sat herself down to rest a while.

They then took leave of the king, and got into the coach with eight horses, and all set out, full of joy and merriment, for the prince’s kingdom, which they reached safely; and there they lived happily a great many years.

26. There was once a poor widow who lived in a lonely cottage. In front of the cottage was a garden wherein stood two rose-trees, one of which bore white and the other red roses.

She took the two rose-trees with her, and they stood before her window, and every year bore the most beautiful roses, white and red.

27. In China, you know, the emperor is a Chinese, and all those about him are Chinamen also.

The servants now came in to look after the dead emperor; when, lo! there he stood, and, to their astonishment, said, “Good morning.”

28. Every afternoon, as they were coming from school, the children used to go and play in the Giant’s garden.

And when the children ran in that afternoon, they found the Giant lying dead under the tree, all covered with white blossoms.

29. Once upon a time there lived in a certain village a little country girl, the prettiest creature who was ever seen.

And unfortunately, it is these gentle wolves who are the most dangerous ones of all.

30. Once upon a time there was a poor peasant who had so many children that he did not have enough of either food or clothing to give them.

As for the prince and princess, they set free all the poor Christians who had been captured and shut up there; and they took with them all the silver and gold, and flew away as far as they could from the castle that lay east of the sun and west of the moon.

I’ll post the answers in a few days, if you ask me nicely.

Highly recommended:  go to the library this summer and check out a big thick book of UNABRIDGED fairy tales;  the politically incorrect blood, gore, daughter-selling, youngest-son-mocking, parent-fooling, and poop-in-the-suit will entertain you for days.  Don’t waste your time on abridgments; they’re watered down and a major disappointment, and that’s true for ALL abridgments. I loathe and despise the abridged version of anything.

Real fairy tales, though, are bloody awesome, and I do mean bloody.  Of course, a lot of the action is perfectly understandable; I mean, who among us HASN’T, on occasion, accidentally cooked and eaten one of our children?

Come on, take the quiz.  Who knows the real stories and who thinks Disney’s are the real stories?   I’m always more than just a little bit horrified surprised at the people who really thought Disney’s versions were the real ones.

Blood bath!  Cannibals!  Dismemberment!  Poop in your suit!  Never bathe!  Sell your babies!  Hell, DEVOUR your babies!

I do love me some unabridged fairy tales.

“Good, by my troth, daughter broth!”

How We Spend Our Days Is, Of Course, How We Spend Our Lives *

Posted on by June 24, 2010
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Mamacita says:  “Why not go out on a limb? Isn’t that where the fruit is?” –Frank Scully

I’ve always liked that quotation. I also believe it is absolutely true. I think about it whenever I’m feeling particularly cowardly. It helps me overcome it. Words help me overcome it.

I’ve always stood in awe before the power of words.

With words, simple words, we can delve into the past and the future, and all the various time blends that scientists must use big words to explain, but which writers can explain simply by using one or two of the helping verbs Ol’ Miz Roberts made us memorize back in seventh grade.

Time machines in stories show the blending of times with numerals and fast-motion, whipping past the window of the machine, or by numbers going backwards or forwards on a dial.

Writers just use a helping verb or two.

Scientists discuss the concept of time, past time, present time, future time, using diagrams and equations and big, big words.  Writers just stick a “have” or “had” or a “will” in front of a plain old verb to show the same thing.

Past and future are the easiest to measure. They are also the easiest to understand, or comprehend.  “Already happened” and “not happened yet” are no biggie.

It’s the present that’s the most difficult to comprehend and measure, because even with all of our scientific knowledge, inventions, devices, equations, whatever, the present is too fleeting to measure. The actual ‘present’ is so fleeting, we can’t even realize it ourselves. By the time we do, it’s already gone. Blink, and it’s past. Breathe, and it’s past. Sit still; each beat of your heart is in the past, because by the time you are aware, it’s too late, it’s gone.

Look at your children. They’re in the present, sure, if you want to call it that. Watch them sleeping. Each rise and fall of the covers is already part of the past. History. It’s already happened, and it will never happen again. Not that particular breathe. Not that particular heartbeat. Watch them play; this moment will never come again.  Look at the pictures you took only a few seconds ago.  Those moments are gone.  The expression on your child’s face, the way his hair falls over his eyes when he’s played outside for a while, the Kool-aid smiles, that particular shirt. . . Gone.

So often we say that we can’t WAIT for a particular phase or week or school year, etc, to be over with. Be careful what you wish, my dears. . . . When it’s gone, it’s gone.  My mom used to tell me – usually in the midst of a particularly awful phase – not to wish my children’s lives away, but I didn’t understand what she meant then.  I do now.

The actual present can’t be measured, not by us, not yet. Use it carefully, for once you’re aware of it, it’s already part of your history.

And your history, and mine, are, of course, part of the history of mankind.

Ah, the power of words, that we can so clearly express the elements of time with just a few simple helping verbs.  Scientists can’t do it yet.  Only writers can do it, with our magic wands called pens.  The typing fingers of a writer can make the past come alive again, and the present seem permanent, and the future? A time of hope and joy, which I hope is true for all of us.

I wondered about it. (simple past: one-shot deal, it’s over.)

For many years, I have wondered about it. (present perfect: I was wondering in the past and I’m STILL wondering. Two times are represented here, one in the past and one in the present.)

I had wondered about it before I said something. (past perfect: both actions are in the past, but one is more recent than the other. Two times are represented; both past.)

I have always enjoyed teaching this concept, and with adult students, it’s even more awesome. I’ve had students weep, during this lesson.

Words are powerful. A pen in the hand is power. Use words carefully, and properly. Choose them wisely.

Remember, there’s a big difference between a wise man and a wise guy. And which would you prefer: a day off or an off day?

I love the power, magic, and majesty of words.  Maybe this is one reason I hate texting and  cutesy codes so thoroughly

U dig?

*Annie Dillard

Happy Father's Day, Daddy

Posted on by June 20, 2010
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Mamacita says:   My father died several years ago: a long, slow, drawn-out process that left my mother and my siblings and me drained and sad, and grateful when the final ending finally ended. I loved my father, with all his faults, and charms, and whimsicalities, and more faults, and understanding, and lack of understanding, and singing, and poetry, and callousness, and sensitivity, his sense of humor, his hilarity, his faults, faults, faults, his betrayals, his loyalties, his insensitivities, and many other words, many contradicting the one before, and all absolutely true.

I’ve posted a lot in the past about my dying father: blind, both legs amputated above the knee, on kidney dialysis, eating via a stomach tube, etc. That was an accurate picture, but it wasn’t the only picture. It is also not the picture I have in my mind’s eye when I think of my father. At least, not usually.

My father – my REAL father – the father who was intact, before the diabetes devoured him, was tall, and strong, and hilarious. He was handsome – Hollywood handsome. He liked new experiences. He liked to travel. He sang. He cracked terrible jokes. He read voraciously.  He was smart – really, really smart. He would have liked to have gone to college, but it wasn’t possible.  Instead, he sent four kids through college, and continued to work day after day in a factory “so we would never have to.”  He tried hard, and he did the best he could with what he had.

Dad wasn’t perfect, not by a long shot. He and all of his brothers and their father before them were quick-tempered and easy to, as Mom used to say, “set off.” My Other Sister and I had a daddy who was playful and laughing. My two younger siblings had a daddy who was cranky and yelling. Dad’s illness began long before anybody realized it, including himself, and the personality changes were just brushed aside as part of the aging process or, possibly, his true colors. Nobody actually said “true colors, ” but we all thought it.

It wasn’t until both of dad’s legs had been amputated and he was blind and bedridden and too weak to feed himself or turn over, that we all realized that the diabetes had begun to affect his mind long before it took his body.

He stayed at home and Mom took care of him. I don’t think she went anywhere for three or four years, except her hasty runs to the grocery and drugstores while Dad was at dialysis.

As I said, he was a fantastic father to his older children. With the younger kids, his various illnesses had started to affect him, and things in the house were different. Some of it wasn’t his fault, and some of it was. In this way, he was no different from any of us. Whatever may have crossed his mind from time to time, he never entertained the thought of leaving his family. I’m sure he was tempted to, as who isn’t? In fact, we KNOW he was tempted, but he had made a promise and he kept it. In my parents’ home, promises meant something.

On Father’s Day, I will think of my father with love and a few head-shakings and a lot of forgiveness and smiling. And, a few things that I haven’t forgiven yet.

Happy Father’s Day, Daddy. I knew all along that mean yelling daddy wasn’t really you.

In the picture, you see my father before he was struck down. That is my brother’s motorcycle, but Dad liked to take it around town of a late afternoon.

So did I, in fact. Please don’t tell Mom.

(I add to this post a little bit every Father’s Day.  If some of it seems familiar, thank you for being a loyal reader!)

Is Your Child A Civilized, Sentient Person?

Posted on by June 17, 2010
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Mamacita says:  Don’t get me wrong. I believe in testing: to a point.

I do not believe that a student who can’t pass a simple test of basic skills should be graduated from high school. I do not believe that a student who can’t pass a simple test of basic skills should be promoted at all, in fact.

There are certain basic skills that all people simply must have in order to care for themselves, and for others, in this life. Those who allow themselves to become adults, yet do not have these basic skills, are potentially. . . societal leeches. It is just simply a disgrace to become an adult and not have the ability to support oneself. Perhaps my point of view differs only in the direction of the Pointing Finger of Blame.

I blame the student, with a hefty amount of blame for the family, as well. A little blame for the teacher, and a big pointy middle finger at administration. But mostly? I blame the student.

Yes, we have some pretty lousy schools. Some of them are lousy because they hired lousy teachers. However, I believe that many of our “lousy” schools are bad because of the political pressure of certain families who WILL NOT ALLOW their kids to be challenged, punished, or in any way whatsoever held responsible for their own actions, and by a society that insists that it is not a kid’s fault if he/she behaves badly: it’s SOCIETY’S fault, poor kids, poor poor kids, and they crush, kill, destroy, disrupt, vandalize, talk back, threaten, bully, sleep, sell drugs, take drugs, rape, harass, street-talk, mug, skip, and otherwise renege on the unwritten school/society/student contract because of somebody else, not themselves. The poor things can’t help it. It’s not their fault. They’re victims of the system. It is this lack of backup from families, and administrators who are unwilling to buck the political system of a community and crack down HARD on offenders, that are our worst problem.

And yet, there have always been students who spit in the eye of circumstance and defy the statistics, kids who learn in these environments, in spite of the odds, in spite of the environment, in spite of everything.  What do these kids have that others don’t have?

Parents are busy. They’re working. Daycare is eating up their money and they NEED the school to keep their kids. I’ve been there; I know.

But hey. Our schools are already feeding the kids breakfast, lunch, and supper, and staying open till after dark to accommodate working parents. We are expected to not only teach the kids how to read, but also how to treat others, feel good about themselves, behave, and many other things that the family is supposed to do but many times doesn’t, nowadays.

But the school is held accountable for these things the family is supposed to do. When did that happen? I find that reprehensible.

In the ‘smart class’ (you will find no PC here; it cheapens us all) you will find a group of kids who all have a background of poems, songs, nursery rhymes, and ‘experiences.’ In the slow class, you will find a group of kids who all have no background in anything at all, for the most part.

I used to give assessment tests at the start of each year. It would blow your mind to bits if you all realized how little some families do for their children, before sending them to school, beyond setting them in front of the tv and walking away.

Our Pre-K’s can tell you all about the latest Jerry Springer guest, but they don’t know what happened to Humpty Dumpty. They can tell you all about Fitty Cent and Lady Gaga, but they don’t know how to say ‘please’ or ‘thank you.’ They see something and they grab for it.

They’re sitting beside your child in school, and they’re stealing erasers, paper, pencils, and money from the teacher’s purse. Some of them don’t even know they’re stealing.  They see it and they want it so they take it.

This same mentality is found in the upper grades, as well. Anything they see that they want, is just grabbed. When the hormones kick in, this becomes an even worse problem.

And if the parent is called, the teacher is either cussed out for waking him/her up, or we are given a tirade about how “that ‘s the school’s problem, I sent him to school to be taught, I cain’t do nothing with him, and don’t call me again, dammit.”

Some kids are so far gone that even the knowledge that one more call to mom’s place of employment will result in her being fired doesn’t faze them. They’re entrenched in selfishness to the point that instant gratification in all aspects of life is their daily expectation. They’re entitled to whatever they want.

These behaviors cross all ethnic lines; no one group can be singled out. Some of the very worst are rich white offspring of professionals. (I guess I just singled out a group, huh. Bite me.)

Getting back to the tests. . . . .

Why can’t we just go back to the amazing, off-the-wall concept of LEARNING ? That’s right, a child comes to school, behaves properly, and is exposed to all kinds of awesome concepts and facts and projects and and miracles and outer space and underground and inside a book and imagination and experiments and research and how to care for himself/herself and others so that when the student becomes an adult, he/she will be able to support and care for himself/herself and others, and use any leisure time to cultivate himself/herself culturally and to volunteer to help others?? And the big standardized test at the end of each year would simply cover those things that every person of ‘that age’ or ‘that level’ simply MUST KNOW in order to be a contributing member of society. No pass, no promote.

And music. Oh, the music the schools used to expose us to, and art. I still remember the smell of that pile of clay we all kept in our desks.

I learned dozens of major classical music pieces, in lower elementary school. They were disguised as simple, catchy songs.

But there is no time for the arts any more, or even recess in many schools. Every minute must be devoted to preparing for those tests, and that is wrong.

We are doing our students no favors by passing them along because of their age or their size or their parents’ standing in the community. We are doing them no favors by tailoring their curriculum to a test that doesn’t measure their ability to comprehend that they are in school to learn the things that will help them be the kind of adults that contribute to the world, not take from it.

I believe in testing. I just don’t believe a test is the purpose of education.

In real life, ‘test’ isn’t the final blow. In real life, “this is only a test” means that we shouldn’t worry. We give a test so people will be able to understand and use the concepts in real life. It’s what happens AFTER the test that is important. Those students who pass the test, are ready to move on to the next level, where they might use those skills and apply them to new things. Those who do not yet have the skills, should stay where they are until they have them. What good is it to move them ahead when they do not yet have the skills, ie tools, to comprehend the next level?

Some people are still playing junior varsity their senior year. So what? They weren’t ready to move up. Do people make a big deal out of that? (besides irate parents who know their kid is a superstar in disguise, that is.)

Don’t move ’em up till they demonstrate that they are ready to move up. That takes work. Some kids don’t know how to work. Keep them back until they learn. We’ve already got enough adults who don’t know how to work; we don’t need any more.

ISTEP is only a test. It’s a piece of paper.

Education isn’t about a standardized test. The test just measures how seriously a student takes that education. It measures who paid attention. It measures who CARES.

Those things are important. The test isn’t the goal. The test is only a test. Don’t panic; it’s only a test. If it had been a real situation, you would be at work, facing a problem that only a person who got number seventeen right on the test would know how to fix.

Sit up straight. Pay attention. If your kid’s teacher calls you, tell her to throw the book at your kid, and do it again when he comes home. Don’t allow any misbehavior at school. I do not advocate corporal punishment, but Annie Sullivan had to put her hands on Helen Keller to get her to calm down and behave; if that is what it takes for your kid, then do it. Some people require a little physical pressure; some don’t.  Annie Sullivan knew that Helen had it in her to be awesome; the awesomeness just had to be mined.  Today, Annie would be in the Rubber Room and Helen would have had a curriculum so tailor-made for her limitations that she would never have been able to go to college, let alone graduate Cum Laude from Radcliffe, go on the vaudeville circuit, write several books, lecture, and be received in the White House by twelve different presidents.  In fact, she’d probably still be running wild and stealing food out of everybody’s plate, with her hands.

Students are SUPPOSED to be challenged in school.  They’re supposed to have to work hard, and some will always have to work harder than others.  Some kids have their homework done before they get off the bus, while others need four hours to get the same assignment half done.  Not fair?  Of course it’s not fair.  It was never supposed to be fair; it’s supposed to challenge students and teach them to work so they won’t be societal leeches when they grow up.

Above all, we must not continue to shy away from our responsibilities as parents. We must not send our kids to school, or anywhere else in public, and not require excellent behavior. We must back up our teachers in the area of discipline; if that means you have to drive thirty-six miles after work to pick up your teen because he got ‘afterschool’ for talking back, then so be it. If you are angry at the school because of that, you’ve got a big, big problem, daddy or mommy, and with that attitude, it’s only going to get worse.  If your kid misbehaves and is bagged for it, be angry with your kid, not the school.  The school has a couple of thousand kids to deal with; if yours doesn’t choose to live with the good manners I’m sure you tried to teach him, that’s his problem.  And yours.  And if your kid got mouthy or violent or whatever, I’m GLAD he got bagged.

Do you know the main reason they used to hang horse thieves back in the day?  That more horses might not be stolen.  Get it?

Educated people are as much superior to uneducated people, as the living are to the dead. —Aristotle.

I know I say that all the time, but it’s absolutely true.

Civilization and sentience. I’m all for ’em.  Without both, we are lost.

It's True. I'm A Snob. You Should Be, Too.

Posted on by June 13, 2010
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This is from several years ago, but it’s been updated, and it’s still true.  I don’t suffer fools gladly, and I don’t think you should, either. A great deal of the world’s problems stem from suffering fools.

Mamacita says:  When people’s lives are focused primarily on television shows, celebrity antics, pizza delivery, Nascar *, sports, farting, belching, frantic sneaky extra-marital sex, having their own way in everything, leaving work early, going to work late, not going to work at all, gossip, making assumptions, trying to boss people around, yelling as a way of life, hitting when things don’t go their way, and looking after #1, how can they stand themselves and each other? I’m serious. And why would any sentient person even sit by someone like that, let alone marry them and breed with them and be seen in public with them?

I know people who yell a lot and to be perfectly honest, and you know I will be on this blog, nothing they have to say is remotely interesting to me. I don’t do “yelling.” Raise your voice to me and I’m out of there, mentally for sure and physically if at all possible.  Try to boss me around and I tune you out.

I’m a people-watcher, and there are times when I’ve wondered if some peoples’ heads contain anything that doesn’t resemble styrofoam peanuts. Is it really possible to sustain and nurture any kind of relationship based on a mutual love of American Idol and Flamin’ Hot Cheetos? What kind of children will such people bear, and rear? (Wait, I already know the answer to that one. . . .)

I know I’m a bit of a snob – people have been pointing out that little fact for years now so don’t bother – but this kind of life seems really, really, really, really shallow to me. Life without intellect. . . . life without constant intellectual exchange. . . Life without debates and conversations and trivia contests at the dinner table and music and art and knowing how such things are put together and playing 6 Degrees of Separation with all kinds of topics. . .I couldn’t live like that. I couldn’t – and wouldn’t – live without these things.   I wouldn’t want to, either. I’m not saying,of course, that EVERYBODY should know the things I know, but I want to know things others know; shouldn’t everybody want to know everything they can possibly absorb in the short time they’re on this earth? It seems sometimes that some people work hard so they won’t have to learn things, rather than work hard so they can.

Americans know every detail about Britney and Lindsay and Mel and Tom, but how many Americans can name five scientists? Five distinguished politicians – not the overweight pork-bound stupid scandalmongers who drown girlfriends in lakes and get by with it or actually believe blowjobs aren’t sex – but five distinguished, scandal-free, honest, kind, decent politicians?

There are Americans who have Dale Earnhardt up on a pedestal and who lay flowers at his grave and practically revere him as a god, but who have no earthly clue who Clara Barton or Father Flannigan or Virgil Grissom were, and if they did, they wouldn’t care. Beer! Tailgate! Cars all covered with advertising! This was never meant to be a lifestyle.  Most fans don’t even know that “NASCAR” is an acronym.

There is probably not an American alive today who can’t tell you something about Bill Clinton’s sexual antics in the White House, but how many people can tell you a single thing about his actual presidential accomplishments?  There were many.

Kennedy snogged Marilyn Monroe, but what else did he do?

Who’s been to the moon? Who conquered polio? Whose fortune funds your public library? What did Alfred Nobel invent that enabled him to set up the Nobel Prize? Can you name five people who have won the Nobel Prize?

There was a movie about Ghandi. Many people don’t know he was a real person. What did he do?

What’s the address of the White House? Who was the first president to live there? What First Lady instigated the Hot Lunch Program in all American schools?

How many Americans know that George Washington turned down the proposal that he be crowned king, and that it was he who established presidential protocol, ie, we don’t bow to the president, etc.?

What is the name of the janitor who cleans your office? Is he married? Does he have kids? I bet he knows YOUR name.

Why does the Pentagon have so many bathrooms? And no, it’s NOT for your personal convenience.

When you play Jeopardy, do you know at least half of the answers?

Can you make at least one connection between any famous person and something else that affects your daily life? When you read or study anything, ANYTHING, can you connect it with something you already knew? Is your schema constantly activated? Do you have tons of prior knowledge to lay on the table?

What nation launched the first satellite into space? What was the satellite’s name?  Most people know about the most recent volcanic eruption, but where was it?  Pretty much everyone knows about the oil spill, but where was it and why are environmentalists so concerned?

For whom were the planets named? Why? Who named them? Do you know each planet’s similarity to the entity for which it was named?

The first telescope was about as powerful as a child’s binoculars. Who invented that weak little telescope?

Can you think of an invention that was created by accident? Did Columbus really discover America? What are these “microwaves” that heat your oatmeal every morning?

Safety pins are handy little objects. So are zippers. And velcro.  Who invented them?  What was the inspiration for it?  What did people use before they were invented?

Edison invented a lot of things.  Which invention was his favorite?

Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, but afterwards, he wouldn’t always answer his own phone when it rang.  Why?  What was he actually trying to invent when the telephone “happened?”  Why?

Who was Shakespeare’s favorite actress?  What was the first “peeping Tom” peeping at?

Most Americans can recite all kinds of sports stats. Can you recite a poem? Can you name five famous living poets? Five living authors? Five dead authors?  (Besides Stephen King)

Wahh, wahh, math is hard. I can’t do it without my calculator. Why should I EVER have to do it without my calculator? Can you add a column of a hundred big numbers with a piece of paper and a pencil? Teachers used to do that every six weeks, for every student.  That’s how grocery clerks used to figure up your total.  Can you figure a square root with a pencil?  Can you figure tips in your head?  Poor, poor Barbie.  I was in a bookstore a few years ago and the power went out.  They had to close the store because there wasn’t a single employee who knew how to add correctly and figure change, by hand.

Can you tell the difference between satire and racism? Do you have any sense of historical context when it comes to studying literature, science, and history? If you don’t, you’re easily and often offended. If you do, you laugh a lot, shake your head a lot, and understand at least part of almost everything you read or hear.

How big is your vocabulary? The more words you know, the better your understanding of the world and the better the world can understand you. (By the way, it’s “. . . make ends meet,” NOT “. . . make ends meat.” Dear Lord. A college graduate actually asked that question.)  Do you put an apostrophe on every word that ends in “s?”  Stop it!  Do you believe that “idea” and “ideals” are the same thing?  Do you say “anyways?”  Keep a dictionary in your bathroom and learn at least two new words with every poop.

I love to observe people talking to one another, in restaurants, airports, waiting rooms, etc. I’m not saying that I sit there and make judgment calls, but I do tend to sit there and make judgment calls.

People whose children are running wild in a public place probably aren’t talking about Darwinian theory or comparing a book to its movie adaptation. Men who think bodily noises and odors are hilarious and classy  probably don’t converse about citizenship and the importance of discipline in our schools. Women who have affairs with married men probably don’t converse about proper behavior or philosophical ethics or Plato or morality. Grown men who don’t remove their hats inside a house or public building probably don’t listen to Bach or read. . . much. Adults who honestly believe they’ve got a right to sit and rest with friends and have a coffee and a croissant while their toddlers destroy the restaurant and get angry if the owner asks for “inside voices” probably weren’t discussing missionaries or tutoring or foreign policy or volunteering. Children raised in homes with Jerry Springer will often enter kindergarten completely illiterate and with no clue about how to hold the scissors except to stab things. Adults who drink too much, use drugs, fool around, curse constantly, and hit, generally breed children who don’t know how normal, decent people are supposed to behave, and who either wash out completely in school and life just like their parents, or somehow, miraculously, transcend their parents and become wonderful human beings who love learning and make their own living. I love it when that happens.

Many Americans don’t even KNOW anybody who earns their own living. Many of them don’t even know how a person would go about earning their own living. Many Americans have permitted themselves – and yes, it’s ALWAYS their own fault – to become adults who have no skills whatsoever that might earn them a living.

In any group of a hundred people, 95 of them are like the people in my reader: kind, intelligent, considerate, thoughtful, decent, ethical, helpful, hardworking, interested, interesting, and thirsty for knowledge. It’s the same in most schools. Most people are good. Most people mean well. Most people try.

What a shame that the majority of the world’s attention, money, and interest seems to focus mainly on that 5 percent that are the complete and utter opposite.

A shame, and a travesty, and a disgrace, in fact.  The lowest common denominator in any circumstance are NOT the ones who deserve these things.

Awards, rewards, badges, certificates, trophies, and self esteem mean nothing unless they’re honestly and individually earned by accomplishment and merit and work. Prizes for showing up are a joke. Trophies for trying, ditto. Every kid knows there are no points “given” for missing the basket, no matter how angry your mommy might be that the mean scorekeeper didn’t understand how HARD he tried and how MUCH he wanted those points and how UNFAIR it is that the other kids on the team are taller, etc. But I’ve ranted about this before.

And I’ll probably do it again, because our culture is going down the tubes and most of it is due to people insisting on their share of the pot even when they haven’t put anything in the pot.

Why yes, I might be a tad opinionated. Why, what’s your point?

*No offense meant to Nascar fans who also know how to carry on a conversation about Einsteinian theory and Scrubs, and who can pick out the fine points of a Sondheim counterpoint.  Ditto the occasional flatus-man (or woman) but only if they know what “flatus” means.

People who are not lifelong learners. . . .  I just don’t get it.

Quotation Saturday: Never Give Up, and Never Surrender *

Posted on by June 12, 2010
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quotationsaturdayMamacita says:  We all need to be reminded sometimes – probably more often than we ARE reminded – that we are only human, and that we can’t do it all by ourselves.

Fortunately, as John Donne liked to remind us, no man is an island.  This is the key to all education, no matter what our age.  No man is an island, and that means CONNECTIONS.

Education is about learning to make connections.  Understand that one point and you’ll know how to keep on learning until they carry you out feet first.  The sooner we learn it, the better off we are.

We are human, and humans mess up.  That doesn’t mean – it NEVER means – that we should give up when we mess up.  No, no, no, no, no.  No matter how many times we mess up, we must try to pull ourselves up and try again.  And if it’s just too hard to pull ourselves up, we need to give our families and friends the privilege of helping us do it.

Never give up, and never surrender.  No matter what “it” is, never give up.  We can do it.  Life likes to hit us below the belt sometimes, but we don’t have to let it get by with that.  Never give up.  Never surrender.  And it doesn’t matter how many times we’re down, either.  Each time, get back up and vow again to never surrender.  Eventually the lesson will sink in.  And if it doesn’t  happen soon, or when we think it should, well, keep on trying anyway.

We are all surrounded by people who love us, in real life or online – and what does that say for social media that some of our best friends are online friends – and together we will always be stronger than anything that doesn’t love us.  We might have to wait for it.  It might be late.  We might worry that it’s not coming at all.  But be patient, for love really does conquer all.  It does.  Never give up.  Never surrender.

1. Superman’s not brave. You can’t be brave if you’re indestructible. It’s every day people, like you and me, that are brave knowing we could easily be defeated but still continue forward. — Unknown

2. No horse gets anywhere until he is harnessed. No stream or gas ever drives anything until it is confined. No Niagara ever turned light and power until it is tunneled. No life ever grows great until it is focused, dedicated, disciplined. –Harry Emerson Fosdick

3. People are hungry for messages of hope and life. What are you broadcasting? — Morgan Brittany

4. Whoever you are, there is some younger person who thinks you are perfect. There is some work that will never be done if you don’t do it. there is someone who would miss you if you were gone. There is a place that you alone can fill. –Jacob M. Braude

5. Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time. –Thomas Edison

6. Shame is guilt in overdrive. If it helps, think of the difference between shame and guilt as this: shame says “I’m bad, I’m flawed,” and guilt says “What I did was harmful to myself and/or others, and I can do better than that.” Thoughts of healthy, unbiased guilt are how you converse with your conscience, while feelings of shame don’t even let the conversation begin. — Renee Bledsoe

7. Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all. — Dale Carnegie

8. Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Forget about everything except what you’re going to do now – and do it. — William Durant

9. If we did the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves. –Thomas Edison

10. You don’t have to control your thoughts; you just have to stop letting them control you. — Dan Millman

11. Ninety percent of the world’s woe comes from people not knowing themselves, their abilities, their frailities, and even their real virtues. Most of us go almost all the way through life as complete strangers to ourselves. — Sydney J. Harris

12. If you are aware of your weaknesses and you are constantly learning, your potential is virtually limitless. — Jay Sidhu

13. You can come out of the furnace of trouble two ways: if you let it consume you, you come out a cinder, but there is a kind of metal which refuses to be consumed, and comes out a star. — Jean Church

14. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time. — Og Mandino

15. Facing it, always facing it; that’s the way to get through. Face it. — Joseph Conrad

16. Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. — Carl Bard

17. Life is very interesting. In the end, some of your greatest pains become your greatest strengths. — Drew Barrymore

18. Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear. — Ambrose Redmoon

19. Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life, as by the obstacles one has overcome trying to succeed. — Booker T. Washington

20. You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it. — Margaret Thatcher

21. Determination, patience and courage are the only things needed to improve any situation. — Peter Sinclair

22. Always bear in mind that your own resolution to success is more important than any other one thing. — Abraham Lincoln

23. Fall seven times, stand up eight. — Japanese proverb

24. Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new. — Brian Tracy

25. It’s never too late to be what you might have been. — George Eliot

26. We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope. — Martin Luther King Jr.

27. Sometimes when I consider what tremendous consequences come from little things, I am tempted to think, there are no little things. — Bruce Barton

28. Don’t let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was. — Richard L. Evans

29. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn’t mean the circus has left town. — George Carlin

30. How lovely to think that no one need wait a moment, we can start now, start slowly changing the world! How lovely that everyone, great and small, can make their contribution toward introducing justice straightaway. And you can always, always give something, even if it is only kindness! — Anne Frank

31. Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born. — Helen Keller

32. Just as despair can come to one only from other human beings, hope, too, can be given to one only by other human beings. — Elie Weisel

33. To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe. — Anatole France

34. When everything seems like an uphill struggle, just think of the view from the top. — Unknown

35. He who has hope has everything. — Arabian proverb

36. Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it. — Bill CosbyCHOOSE_GENEROSITY_by_battytothebone

37. History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again. — Maya Angelou

38. When you’re going through hell, keep going. — Winston Churchill

39. Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it. — Jacques Prevert

40. Every worthwhile accomplishment, big or little, has its stages of drudgery and triumph; a beginning, a struggle, and a victory. — Ghandi

41. Real heroes are men who fall and fail and are flawed, but win out in the end because they’ve stayed true to their ideals and beliefs and commitments. — Kevin Costner

42. It is one of the most beautiful compensations in life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself. — Ralph Waldo Emerson

43. What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other? — George Elliot

44. A life isn’t significant except for its impact on other lives. — Jackie Robinson

45. The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you. -–John E. Southard

46. In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.–-Albert Schweitzer

47. No one is as capable of gratitude as one who has emerged from the kingdom of night.–-Elie Wiesel

48. Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan “press on” has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race. — Calvin Coolidge

49. When life knocks you down you have two choices- stay down or get up. — Tom Krause

50. Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain. — Unknown

* Bonus points if you know the source.  Kudos, too, because it’s a cool source.