There Are All Kinds of Enslavement

Mamacita says:  I posted this in 2006, but I’ve been thinking about this same thing all day so here it is again.

My blog, my rules.

Here’s the post:

schoolIs anyone else out there lucky enough to have a job that makes you so happy that all you have to do is walk into the building and you feel the positive vibes? My days seem so short now; most days I feel as though I’ve just begun, and bingo, it’s time to go to bed again.

I get tired, yes. I am exhausted, usually, by the end of the day. But even so, I love this teaching gig with a passion I didn’t even know I was still capable of after enduring the slings and arrows of outrageous public school dealings for so long.

I think that after so long in the school systems of our country, the teachers who stay evolve a mindset that is almost enslavement. We endure schedules and treatment that no other professional would dream of enduring. We allow ourselves to be used and misused and overworked, all in the name of love for our students. What other professionals have a clientele that pretty much expects to be supported, fed, dressed, taught, and catered to in every possible way, without showing the least bit of gratitude? What other profession works so hard and gets so little support?  What other job books a professional  so thoroughly during the course of the day that there isn’t even time to go to the bathroom or grab a sandwich?  Is there another profession so vulnerable that it is forced to endure all kinds of abuse without any recourse and often very little, if any, in-house support?

We get so used to it, we don’t even realize that there is another world out there, where people show each other respect.

We really do love the students, don’t get me wrong. But year after year in a public school kind of makes a teacher numb to any other possibility that might be out there for a person with these talents. Every year it gets worse and worse, even while we are thinking and saying things like “Next year it will be better.”

But it never is.

Next year, the classrooms are more overcrowded, there are fewer books, there are more dysfunctional families who seem to be in charge of the system, there are more duties, there are more responsibilities, there are more problems, there are more “incidents,” and there is less and less support. There is no respite. There is no discipline. The teacher’s union here stands idly by and allows a principal to schedule a teacher to the point that there isn’t even time in the course of the day to blow her nose. I am not exaggerating, either. The contract guarantees some prep time daily? We’ll count walking down the hall to fetch yet another class as break-time. We’ll count your driving time, from building to building, as your lunch. Ask any music teacher if I’m stretching the truth.

Yes, every year it’s worse. And a teacher doesn’t really know how bad it is, until that teacher walks out and tries something new.

Me, for instance.

And now, I teach every day in a building full of wonderful hardworking students and smiling administrators and friendly janitors and awesome bosses who TALK TO US AS THOUGH WE WERE EQUALS (instead of slaves) and the building resounds with humor and happiness and dedication.

Heck, even the restrooms here are superior. And there is ALWAYS toilet paper!!!!! The halls and classrooms are clean and well-maintained. Everyone behaves properly.

Always toilet paper.  This amazes me.

The sad and odd thing is, I did not know how bad it actually was until I left the public schools. While I was there, I was the most loyal and hardworking and dedicated person in the building. Sure, the days seems awfully long, and sometimes the despair and frustration were so thick one could cut it with a knife, but it was my obsession, to somehow be a positive force in this not-very-positive place. I came to school at 7:00; I got home around 6:00. I was determined to make a difference, a positive difference.

But, but, there was no appreciation. There was only the expectation that if I could do that, I should be doing even more.

I couldn’t keep on.

But now? I feel positive every day. I love coming to school. All I have to do is walk into this building and I am instantly wide-awake and happy.

Sure, there are some, um, “interesting” students here, but MOST of them are pure quality.  They are really students, and they mean business about learning.

I still work the long hours. But I am appreciated, and treated like the professional I’d forgotten I was, all those years.

And now, I truly believe I am helping to make a positive difference. I can see it. I can hear it.

I love my job.

The really ironic thing is that in spite of all the negative things about the public schools, I still believe that this nation’s schools are the hope of our future. There is such potential in every classroom, such stories to be told, such wondrous talent and creativity and sensitivity and music concealed behind the t-shirts and the grubby jeans and exposed underwear and defiant raising of the eyebrows and the punky hair and the chips-on-the-shoulders and the trendy slang and the stubborn glares. . . . there is poetry behind the obscenities, and magnificent scientific discoveries behind the unwillingness to conform.

It’s too bad teachers are no longer allowed to cultivate it.

Why can’t we be allowed to step back and bask in the glow of unbridled enthusiasm, and throw ourselves into helping students learn and discover and grow, grow, grow, both physically and mentally and socially and culturally and scientifically. . . . .

What happened to us as a people, as a culture, as a nation, that our idea of ‘school’ has sunk to the level of equating success with a number on a piece of paper?

I do tend to rant, don’t I. My apologies.  I’m just so sorry and sad that our genuine students have to put up with the distractions and disruptions and dangers caused by others who come to school because the law makes them and who have chosen not to put any effort whatsoever in bettering themselves or fitting themselves for any kind of work and seem obsessed with not permitting anybody else to do so, either.  And, that such students people are allowed to stay and continue to hinder learning and soaring in others. Sigh. So unfair.

Teachers and parents, please rise up in protest.  Our precious children, our STUDENTS, are too valuable to be wasted.  They have a right to be truly educated, to learn, to sing, to dance, to think,  to SOAR, unhampered, and a lot of other infinitives as well.   Our children’s teachers, likewise, are too valuable to be treated like indentured servants, or like anything but the educated and trained professionals that they are.

We desperately need to take back our public schools.

I miss what my former job might have been, in a perfect world.

P.S.  Thank you, current students, for being awesome and serious about learning.  I appreciate you more than you could ever realize.

Elevator Etiquette 101

Mamacita says:  These are, of course, Things Nice People Already Know.

Basic Elevator Etiquette for Dummies:

elevator21. Push the appropriate button. If the button is already glowing, do not push it. If you repeatedly push an already-glowing button, everybody will know what you are.

2. Stand back. LEAVE ROOM FOR PEOPLE TO EMERGE FROM THE ELEVATOR.

3. When the door opens, WAIT UNTIL EVERYBODY IS OUT BEFORE YOU GO IN.

4. The people coming out of the elevator have the right-of-way over the people going into the elevator.

5. WHEN THE ELEVATOR IS COMPLETELY EMPTY, then and only then, calmly walk towards the open door. Do not push. Do not shove. The elevator is not going anywhere. It’s not like a subway, or a train, or an airport shuttle. Step inside the elevator and position yourself as far away from the other passengers as possible. If the elevator is crowded, do not take up more than your fair share of space no matter what you might be carrying. Hold your packages close to your body. Pull your wheeled briefcase as close to you as possible. Do not allow your child to touch anything or anybody, or move away from you for any reason.

6. Anyone who farts or who has a lighted cigarette in an elevator is fair game for murder. Nobody will tell on you. Everybody will help. You might even get a medal. If not, you should.

7. Once inside the elevator, do not reach across people to push a button. If your button is not already glowing, ask someone near the buttons to push it for you. Be sure to say please, and thank them nicely when they do it. Do not use a tone of voice that suggests that you’ve seen too many old movies about buildings that employ an actual elevator man.

8. If you stink, take the stairs. I’m not kidding.

9. ESPECIALLY do not violate #’s 2 and 3.

10 If you violate #’s 2 and 3, you are an idiot. “Dummies” books are beyond your intellect. You suck. You’re probably ugly. Your mother dresses you funny. You smell bad. Nobody likes you. Your spouse is changing the locks as we speak. Your children tell their friends that you are the boarder, and that their real parent  lives in Paris and films documentaries.

There. Now you know one way to tell smart people from stupid people, and nice people from rude people. It’s a pretty good indicator.

Elevator etiquette is a kind of social media, you know. When you or your representative behave like a tool in the elevator, I consider that to be an indication of how you conduct your business and treat people in general. And if I see you doing any of the above things, then no, thank you very much;  I’m no longer interested in doing business with you. Rude and stupid outside the office = rude and stupid inside the office.

“Let me sum up,” as Inigo Montoya might say.

BEHAVE YOURSELF.

Rude, crude people used to be the exception, and everybody else pointed and laughed at them. Sadly, rude crude people are now the norm, and sometimes I think they’re competing with each other for the rudest crudest simpletonian  numbskull award.

There would be a lot of ties.  Someone would probably turn it into a reality show.

Love Stays

Mamacita says:  Happy Valentine’s Day. Not because it’s a man-made holiday that exploits the guilt feelings of both men and women and forces them to go forth (or fifth) and spend a lot of money on flowers that will die and candy that will be eaten, but because it’s just one more excuse for people to tell each other how very much they love and appreciate each other. These are things we should all be telling each other all year, of course, but we’re a reticent society, for all that we let it all hang out sometimes, and we sort of need a specific day to give us permission to bare our hearts.

During my annual re-reading of A Lantern in Her Hand and A White Bird Flying (two of my very favorites and I highly recommend them to all of you) I was again struck and reduced to tears by the simple message etched on the stones in the garden path at the home of J. Sterling Morton (who gave Arbor Day to the nation) and his bride:  Hours fly, Flowers die. New days, New ways, Pass by. Love stays.

Love stays.

And in the book, Laura Deal is more touched and moved by the sight of one simple little china dish, a little china hen spreading her china wings, that Mrs. Morton brought to Nebraska with her so she would always have something of her old home in her new home, than by the grandeur of the governor’s eventual home. I am that way, too, for it is the small things that make a home, not any grand exterior or grounds. I love these two books beyond any ability to tell you how much.

Mrs. Morton’s little china dish makes me remember Ma Ingalls and her little china shepherdess.  Most pioneer women had at least one cherished, impractical, often fragile item they brought with them from their old home in the East, to remind them of that home, and to help them remember that there is more to life than dirt, sweat, and hard work.  Sometimes, we need a reminder, however small, that life also promises great beauty, music, hope, and a better life for our children than we can hope for, for ourselves.

Molly Ivins was one of my idols, and this motto of hers  is the motto I have adopted for my very own.

“… keep fightin’ for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don’t you forget to have fun doin’ it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce. And when you get through kickin’ ass and celebratin’ the sheer joy of a good fight, be sure to tell those who come after how much fun it was.”

I have never been much of a fighter, but maybe it’s time to start swinging.

No, not THAT kind of swinging. Scheisse, I love the blogosophere.

I hope everyone’s day is full of love and Hershey’s Kisses. They’re called ‘kisses’ because of the sound the machine makes when it lays one down on the belt. How would you like to work there? “Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss. . . .” all day long. By the time those people get home, their hormones must be raw and ready to be salved. If you know what I mean.

We went out for deep-dish pizza last night, to beat the Valentine’s Day restaurant rush. We had a lot more fun in the booth at Grecco’s than most people will have in their overpriced candlelit crowded reservations-only Valentine’s Day elegant ambiance-filled restaurant tonight. Then again, I am very, very low-maintenance, and proud of it.

“. . . all the oddities that freedom can produce. . . .” Why would we ever want anything else?

I miss you, Molly. But, love stays.

Things I Still Haven't Done Yet

Things I Haven't Done YetMamacita says: what’s the hurry, anyway?

1.  I have never used an ATM machine.  I have a feeling it would be the beginning of a bad personal habit.

2.  I still have never watched a single Survivor-type show.  Still not interested.

3.  Ditto for Oprah, and even less interested.

4.  The Christmas wreath is probably still on the front door; we never use the front door, so I really couldn’t tell you for sure.  If you stop by, and the wreath is still there, please lift it down and lean it against the porch wall.  I’ll no doubt find it when I hide the Easter eggs.

5.  I’d like to tell you all that I still haven’t ever peeked at the answers in the back of a crossword puzzle book, but the fact is, I did.  Last week.  So much for that claim to fame.  Only once, though.

6.  I still haven’t outgrown my fascination with and liking for Spencer Gifts.

7.  I still enjoy the electronics section of a store more than the clothing section.

8.  I’m sorry, but I still snort when teachers get all excited while they tell me about fascinating new and innovative theories or techniques for student engagement that are nothing but recycled and renamed old stuff that’s being marketed and sold as something that will definitely work even though it failed miserably the first few rounds.  On second thought, I’m not really sorry.  I’m just kind of amused and judgmental.

9.  I still haven’t gotten tired of reading and re-reading the Harry Potter books. Every time I re-read a beloved book, I discover something new.  I know most of them by heart now.  I usually try to memorize literature I love; then I’m never without it.  If you are a teacher who doesn’t believe in memorizing, there’s nothing much you could have to say that would make any impression on me because you’re a lazy idiot please go sit somewhere else because you smell really, really bad.

10. I’ve never had a root canal, and I hope I haven’t cursed myself by putting that in writing.

Too Much Discussion Makes Me Think, and We Can’t Have That!

whining kid, awful child, Bitchie LouThis post is dedicated to Bitchie Lou, a student from a few years ago whose babyish behavior, constant whining,  and terrible manners have earned her the title of “Worst Student I’ve Ever Had, So Far.” This is not a title I want to ever have to bestow again, so don’t get any ideas, students dear.

Post is written from Bitchie Lou’s own point of view, which everyone in the class came to know well because she ranted about it every Tuesday night that semester.  Seriously, every one of us knew her ways so well, we could have ordered for her in any restaurant, and while I do, on occasion, take my students to a restaurant, I didn’t dare for this group lestone of us poison her food just to shut her up.

I swear, Bitchie Lou was some kind of agent for NCLB, because her philosophies sure sounded a lot like some of the babbling idiocrities philosophies that came regularly from my old public school administration.

Bitchie Lou is enshrined in my memory not merely because she was such a whining hag, but also because I was able to witness the greatest incident of peer pressure-to-the-rescue in my entire career.  Thanks again, “that class,” for rising to the occasion and letting Bitchie Lou know, in no uncertain and in many awesome terms, that you didn’t have any intention of putting up with her crap.  I still smile when I think about her expression when you all rose up and told her off.  Sometimes, when I think of it, I still laugh out loud.

I couldn’t have done it, but my class had no such restrictions.

Peer pressure:  it ain’t all bad.

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Why Is There So Much Discussion In A College Classroom?

I did not come here for discussion.
I came here to be taught what the textbook has in it.

The opinions and input of other students can’t possibly be of any importance to me.
What could they know that I don’t already know?

I resent the time taken up by discussion.
I want facts.
Facts.

There won’t be 100% agreement in any discussion.
It’s a waste of my time.
I really don’t care what my classmates have to say.
I want facts.

What if we don’t finish the textbook?
What if all this discussion means we don’t have the time to finish the book?
I don’t think I can deal with that possibility.
I want facts. I want closure.

Every class, so far, has had far too much discussion.
I don’t like it.
It makes me nervous.
I feel as though we’re wasting time.
MY time.
My valuable, expensive time.

Learning to listen to what other people have to say is not important to me.
Only facts, and saving time and money, are important.
Aren’t they what makes the world go around?
Other people’s thoughts make me angry.

Sometimes, what somebody else says makes me question my own values.   veruca_salt
This must not happen!
I was taught that MY values are the important values.

College is for FACTS!

My classmates are trying to make me turn from my values!
The professor is wasting my time.
Sometimes, she joins in with her own opinions.
Why would she do this,
Unless it was to try to change me?

It’s almost as though the professor was trying to get people to talk ON PURPOSE!
I know, though, that she’s just wasting everybody’s time
With nonsense.

All my life, I’ve been made to listen to other people.
They talk about things I’m not interested in.
In a college classroom, shouldn’t there be some respite from that?

I don’t want to talk in here, either.
I just want to plow through the textbook and do worksheets.
Isn’t that what we’re all here for?

I don’t CARE what my classmates THINK about anything.
Sure, the textbooks at this level seem to point us toward discussion.
Sometimes, the topic almost BEGS discussion.
That doesn’t mean we should discuss it.
It’s just the way the examples and sentences are put together.
I do not believe this book really wants us to discuss points that are on almost every page.
They’re just trying to make a dull subject more interesting for us.
I’m interested in the subject matter, not discussion.
I paid for subject matter, not discussion.
I wish everyone would just shut up.
SHUT UP, classmates!
Let me plod through our book and learn from it.
You’re distracting me.
My already-made-up-mind resents your discussion.
I don’t like distractions.
I don’t like your opinions.
I don’t care about your thoughts.
I only care about myself, and MY opinions.

My opinion is
That all of you should be quiet
And let the professor guide us through our very expensive textbook
Without any discussion
Without any opinions
Without any talking

Because I, personally, don’t like it.
I DON’T LIKE IT.

It’s almost as though you all were trying to. . . .

Make me think.

And that’s just too hard.

I’d rather be led.

Mom's The Word

cassatMamacita says:  I was reading an article somewhere, by somebody*, that stated that no matter how old we get, there are still times when we want our mother. Our fifty-year-old mother.

When our mothers are young, we don’t consider them ‘friends.’ We don’t consider them young, either, because when we’re very young, all adults are old.  Our 22-year-old teacher and Grandma: one and the same, age-wise.  No, to a child, most adults are old; they’re not sweet young things.  They never were; it’s not possible. They’re just Mommy, when we’re young, and when they’re young. We don’t even know they were young till we look at old pictures. And then we’re blown away because, “Oh my gosh, look how YOUNG she was there!”

But as we get older, our mothers seem to stay the same, and somehow the years between us don’t matter as much as they used to.

They stay the same, that is, until we take a good long look at them and it hits us that they look old. Not just mom-old, but OLD. Wrinkly. And you know there’s white underneath the Miss Clairol. And they aren’t as sure-footed as they used to be.

This is shocking, but it’s okay, as long as the MOM is still there inside the stranger-every-day body. You know, MOM. The lady who can make magic with a word or a touch? Her? That’s the one.

Good thing WE’LL never get old like that, huh.

I’ve read that when we are in our twenties, the fifty-year-old mother is somehow at her peak of Mom-ness and Friend-ness. Our fifty-year-old mother is an expert in so many things.

What we don’t realize is that our fifty-year-old mother is still missing HER fifty-year-old mother.

And what very few of you know yet, is that your fifty-year-old mother is still as insecure and wondering as she was when she was in her twenties. Your fifty-year-old mother is beating herself to death over mistakes she made when you were three.

How do I know this? I’d rather not say.

The seventy-year-old mother is still cool. Still Mom. It’s just that the fragility is starting to show, and the mortality thing comes to mind more than we’d like.

The fifty-year-old Mom is the epitome of Momitude. She KNOWS things. We should listen more to our fifty-year-old Mom.

Unless she’s a meddling idiot with outdated stupid ideas and a lot of unwanted advice, of course. You don’t have to listen then.

Chances are, however, that if your fifty-year-old Mom is mean and judgmental and delights in hurting people’s feelings, she was exactly the same when she was in her twenties. Bodies change a lot**. Personalities seldom do.

The following has been making the internet rounds for a long time now, and most of you have no doubt seen it before. However, I’m posting it anyway, because for some reason, it means more to me with each passing year.

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The Images of Mother

4 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mommy can do anything!

8 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!

12 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mother doesn’t really know quite everything.

14 YEARS OF AGE ~ Naturally, Mother doesn’t know that, either.

16 YEARS OF AGE ~ Mother? She’s hopelessly old-fashioned.

18 YEARS OF AGE ~ That old woman? She’s way out of date!

25 YEARS OF AGE ~ Well, she might know a little bit about it.

35 YEARS OF AGE ~ Before we decide, let’s get Mom’s opinion.

45 YEARS OF AGE ~ Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?

65 YEARS OF AGE ~ Wish I could talk it over with Mom.

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Let’s talk things over with Mom while we have the chance.

If your own mommy doesn’t appreciate you, come right on over here. I’m not saying exactly how old this Mommy is, but she’s in her peak and prime of Momitude.

I have a lot of advice, but I’ll wait till you ask me for it***.

*If I knew the author and the name of the article, I’d have mentioned it up above, silly.
**Unless you’re Jamie Lee Curtis.
***Most of the time.