Testicles. Testicles and Thighs. And Angels.
Mamacita says: I am a ‘word’ person. A language person.
In my classes, I jump on almost any excuse to highlight a particular word and force my students to take it back to its point of origin. I’ve done this for a zillion years, and I’m still doing this.
It is , of course, the high point of their day something they’re used to now, and have even come to expect. Well, today it might have been a high point.
Today, we were discussing grammar via a selection in the text that highlighted legal precedures. The words ‘testimony,’ ‘testify,’ and ‘testimonial’ kept coming up.
Coming up. Mwahahahahahaha. . . . .
Although there are some who do not agree, many scholars, theologians, and historians DO agree that the word in all its aspects hearkens back to. . . . testicles.
Some of the ancients swore in court by holding on to their testicles. In the Old Testament, Abraham’s servant swore an oath by placing his hand “under the thigh” of his master. (This is a euphemism for ‘penis.’ The ancients seldom used the word itself because it was considered sacred.) (See laughter above.)
Jacob tricked his brother out of his inheritance, but he didn’t get blessed until after he wrestled with the angel – when an oath was made for a blessing – by putting his hands on the angel’s testicles. And many scholars believe that the “sinew that shrank” was actually. . . .well, you know. And we are advised not to eat it.
Hey, no problem here.
Well, actually, there is a problem here. The problem is that now I have this stupid Twisted Christmas song running through my head:
Grahbe Yahbalz like Michael Jackson,
Fa la la la la, la la la la. . . .
Well, you get the picture. Now try to remove the picture. Not so easy, is it.
I am really not a crude person, at least not most of the time. I am really a gentle person. But life can be so darn funny, it would be inconsiderate not to laugh.
P.S. Do not confuse ‘testicles’ with any of his brothers, such as Pericles, Sophocles, or Heracles.
P.P.S. Yes, I said Heracles. Hercules is just. . . . wrong. I’d blame Disney, because even though I love Disney I like to blame Disney for plotlines gone perverted, but people were saying and spelling it wrong long before Disney stepped in. The word is “Heracles.” Not “Hercules.” He was named for Hera. Heracles. Hera hated him, as she hated all her husband’s children by other women, but he was her namesake, nevertheless.
This is how I lecture. Come on over.
You may now go back to your usual programming.
Aces, Cooties, Big Bertha, Devil Dogs, and the Eleventh Hour
Mean ol’ Miz Roberts, in seventh grade, made us all memorize this poem. I still know it by heart.
Thank you, Miz Roberts.
This poem refers to World War One soldiers, killed and buried overseas. Their families had no body to bury. They gave their lives so our children won’t have to give theirs. The war to end all wars. The Big War. The one Colonel Potter fought before he fought World War Two and Korea.
Sadly, there were and will be bigger wars. However, I also fear that Einstein was correct when he said, “I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.”
And then it will no doubt start up all over again.
Let us hope not.
Whatever your opinion of the military might be, please remember that because of them, you are free to hold that opinion, and make it public.
Thank you, veterans.
Mind Your Own Business
Mamacita says: I have never been able to understand why some people consider other people’s business to be their business, too. I mean, shouldn’t they at least wait to be asked before chiming in with an opinion, piece of advice, or any kind of diatribe?
Some people prefer paper; others prefer plastic. Is it any of my business? No. I prefer paper – the kind with handles – but it’s still none of your business.
Cloth diapers? Disposables? Honestly, was there EVER a topic less anybody’s business other than the one who has to do all the diaper-changing?
Does it really matter how we dress our children as long as they’re protected from the elements and decently covered? It does not. If you don’t like the way my children are dressed, that’s too bad. I think your kids look like little hookers and pimps, but I’m not going to tell you that. My kids got to choose their own outfits, and it didn’t bother me in the least that my son wore sweat pants until 5th grade or that my daughter spent most of her “at home” time in a frilly full slip. Big deal. As for how they dressed when they played outside in hot weather. . . well, it was fun while it lasted, wasn’t it, kids.
Note: if you DO allow your kids to go out in public dressed like pimps and whores, don’t act all shocked or surprised if someone tries to buy the advertised product. The world is full of ignorance and perversion, and parents who let their kids dress like that are, in a way, both.
Are you in love with a man? A woman? A man who used to be a woman? A woman who used to be a man? I don’t care. I have all kinds of friends, and I like them all. None of that is any of my business. Or yours.
Did you choose to breastfeed your kids? I think that’s lovely. Did you choose to bottlefeed? I think that’s lovely, too. Really, it’s none of my business how you fed your babies, and it’s none of yours, either. Fighting over which method is best is silly, childish, selfish, and makes me think you’re not all that secure or confident about your own choices.
If your kid is parking his Harley, hanging his leather jacket over the back of a chair, grabbing a bag of Fritos and a ham sandwich, ogling a Playboy, and then demanding to be breast or bottle-fed, expect society to give you the stinkeye, but even so, it’s still nobody else’s business if you’re a bunch of weirdos or not.
Worship however you please – or not. Drive any kind of vehicle you want. It’s none of my business what brand of cheese you buy. It’s none of my business if your kids know Harry Potter by heart, or if you have banished all things HP to the back of the line behind your row of Disney fairy tales, because of their witchcraft and spell content. Wait, was that in HP or in your Disneys? Hmmm. Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo was a spell, wasn’t it. Oh dear.
Speaking of inconsistency – that’s really the only thing I despise. If you’re going to ban Harry Potter ,because of the witches and evil, you’d better not have Disney’s Sleeping Beauty, Little Mermaid, Snow White, Beauty and the Beast, etc, in your home, either, because if you ban one and not the others, you’re a hypocrite. And I loathe hypocrisy.
Even so, it’s still none of my business if you’re a hypocritical git.
Do what you want. Let others do the same. Back off. Shut up. Lay off. Etc.
The majority of what other people do is none of your business. Live your own life, and don’t throw stones unless you’re perfect, yourself.
That would, of course, be nobody.
