Forgiveness? Still Working On That.
Mamacita says: On this day four years ago, I was in the intensive care ward. A woman had run two stop signs and collided with me as a colleague and I were on our way to a faculty meeting at the college. I will never fully recover from that wreck.
I can close my eyes and see her coming at us.
I never heard a single word from this woman, not an apology, not a hope that I would recover, nothing. Silence. Her insurance company fought us every step of the way. Until we hired a lawyer, the insurance company called me several times every day, starting with the day I got home from the hospital, chewing me out for thinking I should get any kind of settlement from them or this woman. (“You are too badly injured for our budget.”) (“What kind of person are you to ask for money from this woman?”) Only the news that a lawyer had been hired stopped the calls.
Four years later, the business part of this ordeal is finally over. (Eternal thanks to my awesome lawyer.) The healing part, both physical and emotional, is still ongoing. Every time I see a cutesy commercial for her insurance company, I want to throw something at the screen. They were absolutely horrible. As for the woman who tried her best to kill us. . . . I’m glad you weren’t hurt.
On a related note: we didn’t make it to the meeting, but fortunately we weren’t elected to anything or put in charge of something as absent teachers so often are. My beloved little red car was totaled, as was any hope of an active life for me. Oh, I can get around, but it’s not a pretty sight.
I am still working on the forgiveness part of this saga.
48Kimmie Deckard Knapp, Thomas Underwood and 46 others26 Comments
Christmas Season Without Mom
Mamacita says: I used to put a 6-ft. Christmas tree (tiny, by my standards) in my office window. People who live here couldn’t really see or appreciate it (except me) but Mom told me that when she stood at her kitchen sink and washed her dishes, next door, she could see it perfectly and loved to see the twinkling lights, so I really put it there for her to see while she worked. I didn’t put a tree there this year.
Parents: Do Your Job! Make Magic!
Mamacita says: I know there are people out there whose personal beliefs hold no toleration for celebration. I’ve had students who never blew out birthday candles, or hung a stocking, or had any kind of day singled out for any reason whatsoever. I’ve been asked NOT to put a sticker or stamp or any kind of decoration on a child’s perfect paper that might make him feel special in any way. And while I have always tried to respect the beliefs of others, and while I have always tried not to criticize any family’s particular quirks, I can’t be quiet any longer. I have something to say to families who do not allow their children to celebrate anything: Shame on you.
We owe it to our children to make sure they realize there are worlds of wonder living side-by-side with the world of everyday life. Each world needs the other for proper contrast.
I can’t stress this enough: parents have the power to separate ordinary days from extraordinary days for our children, and for ourselves. Use your power, for your children’s sake and for your own. Give your children’s lives some special sparkly moments. And hurry up with it, because every day your child is one day closer to leaving you and setting up a household of his/her own.
Make sure that the few years with you are good years. Give your children memories of magic and twinkling lights, of birthday wishes and valentines and sparklers, as well as the memories of everyday life. Both are vital. Both are wonderful. Key word: both. If anyone tells you such things are wrong, don’t believe him/her. These things are very, very right. Do it even if you personally don’t approve. There’s nothing to disapprove of, and everything to embrace.
The world does not revolve around you; it revolves around none of us, but shining a little light and some smiles on each other as we make our way through life can make a big difference. You don’t have to connect it with a religion or any kind of belief system. You can do it just because it’s the end of the year and winter can be dreary and why not let it go out with a bang instead of that whiny whimper?
Holiday season is upon us. Get on it. It’s time to start.
