Don’t wish your child’s childhood away.
4
Mamacita says: Many people do not know that Stephen Crane, author of The Red Badge of Courage and The Open Boat – among many other works – was also a poet.
Crane referred to his poems as “lines,” but I call them poems, and I like ’em! Most of them are short, but hardly sweet.
In The Desert
In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said: “Is it good, friend?”
“It is bitter – bitter,” he answered;
“But I like it
Because it is bitter,
And because it is my heart.”
Once There Came a Man
Once there came a man
Who said,
“Range me all men of the world in rows.”
And instantly
There was terrific clamour among the people
Against being ranged in rows.
There was a loud quarrel, world-wide.
It endured for ages;
And blood was shed
By those who would not stand in rows,
And by those who pined to stand in rows.
Eventually, the man went to death, weeping.
And those who staid in bloody scuffle
Knew not the great simplicity.
God Fashioned The Ship of the World Carefully
God fashioned the ship of the world carefully.
With the infinite skill of an All-Master
Made He the hull and the sails,
Held He the rudder
Ready for adjustment.
Erect stood He, scanning His work proudly.
Then — at fateful time — a wrong called,
And God turned, heeding.
Lo, the ship, at this opportunity, slipped slyly,
Making cunning noiseless travel down the ways.
So that, forever rudderless, it went upon the seas
Going ridiculous voyages,
Making quaint progress,
Turning as with serious purpose
Before stupid winds.
And there were many in the sky
Who laughed at this thing.
I Stood Upon A High Place
I stood upon a high place,
And saw, below, many devils
Running, leaping,
and carousing in sin.
One looked up, grinning,
And said, “Comrade! Brother!”
Should the Wide World Roll Away
Should the wide world roll away,
Leaving black terror,
Limitless night,
Nor God, nor man, nor place to stand
Would be to me essential,
If thou and thy white arms were there,
And the fall to doom a long way.
War Is Kind
Do not weep, maiden, for war is kind.
Because the lover threw wild hands toward the sky
And the affrighted steed ran on alone,
Do not weep.
War is kind.
Hoarse, booming drums of the regiment,
Little souls who thirst for fight,
These men were born to drill and die.
The unexplained glory flies above them,
Great is the Battle-God, great, and his Kingdom –
A field wher a thousand corpses lie.
Do not weep, babe, for war is kind.
Because your father tumbled in the yellow trenches,
Raged at his breast, gulped and died,
Do not weep.
War is kind.
Swift blazing flag of the regiment,
Eagle with crest of red and gold,
These men were born to drill and die.
Point for them the virtue of slaughter,
Make plain to them the excellence of killing
And a field where a thousand corpses lie.
Mother whose heart hung humble as a button
On the bright splendid shroud of your son,
Do not weep.
War is kind.
And finally, the two Stephen Crane “lines” which are my favorites:
A Man Said to the Universe
A man said to the universe:
“Sir I exist!”
“However,” replied the universe,
“The fact has not created in me
A sense of obligation.”
I Saw A Man Pursuing the Horizon
I saw a man pursuing the horizon;
Round and round they sped.
I was disturbed at this;
I accosted the man.
“It is futile,” I said,
“You can never -”
“You lie,” he cried,
And ran on.
Mamacita says: I hated elementary school, and by “hated” what I really mean is, well, HATED.
I learned to read when I was really little, but I have never read as most other people do. When I read, I look at a page and immediately, that page is affixed inside my head. I can later “bring it back,” inside my head, glance at it and know what it says again. If I had to, I could read it back word for word, but that is not how I read. I look at the whole page and just “know.” From the time I was very young, I could do this. It’s really handy on planes, for I can re-read entire books by just closing my eyes, concentrating on a particular book, and seeing it page after page in my head.
Now, try to imagine explaining that to an elementary school teacher. I do not mean to disparage my former teachers, but only one of them ever even TRIED to understand what I was telling her about how I read. The others just kept telling me to slow down, because I was making the other kids feel bad. All through grade school, to “reward” me for being fast, I was sent out into the hall to tutor slow kids.
I still have nightmares about sitting out in the hall trying desperately to get some slow little boy who was exactly my age to understand words like “lamb” and “cereal.” I can still hear my teachers telling me, in that slow, patient voice they used when they were actually really pissed but couldn’t show it, to “slow DOWN” and making me write list after list of little baby words when they KNEW I already knew them. WHY? When I was reading “Gone with the Wind” in fourth grade, my teacher made me check out a little baby book from the library and do a report on it “so the other students will be able to read it, too.” Sometimes, the school librarian would forbid me to check out a book because the “age disclaimer” on it didn’t have my current age listed.
In first grade, I used to keep a stack of library books on the floor under my desk – they wouldn’t fit inside the desk – so I would have SOMETHING to do when the silly little word lists and baby readings and insulting little history paragraphs, etc, were finished, so my teacher, when she glanced my way, would see that I was still reading and wouldn’t make me go out in the hall and do her job for her. One day, she bent over, picked up my stack of books, made a comment to the class about how Janie must think she needed a foot rest, and took them away from me. She told me she was taking recess away from me because of my disrespectful attitude. I was a little kid and didn’t know enough to keep a straight face, and when she saw that I was positively ECSTATIC – I hated recess! – she changed her mind and made me go outside. Sigh.
I’ve been obsessed with astronomy since I was very young, but I soon learned not to do any reports about it. I was also very interested in phosphorescence in nature; after a few accusations of copying, I gave up being myself and started doing stupid projects and paragraphs about stuff like “Which will rust: pebbles or nails?” like everybody else in the class was doing.
Listen, I was no genius child. I was just a reading child. Kids who read know tons more than kids who don’t read. We know ideas and themes and learn early on how to connect all of that to the real world. Readers are unfazed by political incorrectness or correctness – we UNDERSTAND, because we know about context, even if we’re young. As for vocabulary. . . I can’t even discuss it rationally, even still. Being forced to write list after list of one-syllable beginning reading words when I was already reading “Gone with the Wind” was so insulting that I used to wipe tears of indignation off my face as I wrote. I can remember thinking, “Why do they make me come here? Do they wish I was slow? Do they WANT me to go backwards instead of forwards? Why do my teachers help everybody but me?”
I still wonder, because from where I sit, most of our public schools could not possibly care less about the fast kids, or the gifted kids, or the reading kids, because everything – curriculum, money, attention – everything seems to be aimed at the lowest possible common denominator.
This is very, very wrong.
Cream rises to the top, it is true, but if nothing is done with it, the cream goes bad. Worse still, if the cream is forced back down and mixed into the rest of the milk, pretty soon it disappears altogether. Oh, the milk is better off, but the cream isn’t. Doesn’t anybody care about the cream any more?
Education in this country seems to be intent on making everybody equal at the expense of those who are already advanced. Beating the smart kids back down into the rest of the crowd isn’t merely a bad idea, it is an evil idea. It’s EVIL to force the brightest kids back down into the masses of average and below average kids. The whole idea of education is to allow people to ADVANCE, not to deliberately hold them back. Self-esteem be damned; if a kid can do it, let him/her do it! If a kid can’t do it, keep him/her back until he/she can. DO NOT hold back a bright kid if he/she’s proven over and over again that the curriculum is far too simple. And holy scheisse on a popsickle stick, do NOT send a bright kid out into the hall with the slow kids day after day and rationalize it away by calling it “compassion curriculum” or any other made-up name that really means “we don’t have any place for kids this fast and bright and since we have to do SOMETHING with them, it’s a lot easier for everyone concerned to just turn them into unpaid teachers and send them out with Billy and Johnny, who still can’t get it. It’ll teach them all to get along. After all, they’re going to be associating closely with each other out in the real world, and. . . .” Oh, are they? Of COURSE they are. Sigh.
Please don’t yell at me in the comments and tell me how cruel and impatient and uncaring I must be to advocate for the bright kids. I honestly believe that there should be a place for every category of kid. Unfortunately, since every child is a unique individual, it’s not possible to do EXACTLY that, but most schools do their best, unless the child is extra bright, and then the assumption is made that smart kids should count their lucky starts that they’re smart, and that a bright kid can adapt to anything so we don’t have to accommodate them.
Parents, perhaps you don’t know that in many states, G/T falls under the jurisdiction of Special Education. If your child is bright and isn’t being challenged at school, or is being taken advantage of, call your state dept. of education and find out if you need to get an IEP for your child.
Once armed with that, you can force the school to accommodate your child. Get all the parents of extra-bright kids together, and maybe you can bring justice for them to your local school.
Don’t expect it to be easy, because it won’t be. Schools are strapped for cash, and a program for kids who don’t seem to need any help with the state standards won’t seem like any kind of priority to many administrators.
Don’t take “no” for an answer. Your children are worth a battle or two. Or three. Four. Eighty-seven. Do not give up. Keep on. Threaten a lawsuit. DO it.
I never considered myself “gifted” or “talented,” but I was certainly not challenged in grade school, and I was certainly taken advantage of. Don’t let this keep on happening!
Our brightest kids are being neglected and forced BACK. What the bloody hell is wrong with us as a culture? ALL kids deserve encouragement, but the brightest kids are the ones who could do the MOST with even just a little bit!
And now I’m rambling, and probably sounding like a misanthropist when I don’t mean to be. I think ALL of our children deserve the very, very best, and it’s just not fair that most schools aren’t even trying to give it to them.
As for those little age disclaimers inside the book jackets. . . . only the worst, stupidest librarians and teachers pay any attention to those. If a child wants to read a book, the good librarians and teachers allow it. The best ones ENCOURAGE it.
And if your child or student tries to explain to you that he/she reads in an unusual way, LISTEN.
My seven-year-old self thanks you.
Mamacita says:
Midterms are next week. Bummer.
You see, I really like most of my students, and it makes me sad to see so many of them stressing over their midterm tests. Some of my students have several different midterm exams in the same week, which really puts the crunch on their time and nerves.
I recently discovered that several of my students have found me online, and are reading this blog. I shall therefore use this fact to their advantage, and give them this message:
Dear Savvy Students:
First of all, thank you for being “techie” enough to find your professor on the internet. Please remember that I know a lot about YOU, too.
Secondly, I want to give you all a warm, elderly hug and remind you that a test is nothing but a piece of paper. It doesn’t represent YOU at all; it only represents what you can conjure up, at a given time on a given day, assuming you don’t have a migraine or are “taking” the flu, that the State hasn’t screwed up your unemployment, that you don’t have any problems at home or on the job, that your children are well, happy, and doing fine in school or at the sitter’s, and that your personal lives are also perfect in every way. A midterm exam is not an omen; your midterm grade doesn’t necessarily reflect your final grade; it’s just an indicator of how well you are understanding the material right now, or, rather, next week. If you ace the midterm, don’t celebrate quite yet; the semester is only half over and a lot can happen between now and then. If you mess up on the midterm, don’t let it ruin your life; the semester is only half over and a lot can happen between now and then. Is there an echo in here?
Thirdly, even if you DO screw up on the midterm and on the final, the world will not stop spinning. You can always take the course again. Often – and I’m not exaggerating – OFTEN, adult students simply need a little more review before they dive right into college. It’s no disgrace; it’s a fact. That English teacher you had back in your junior year who told you that you’d be using your knowledge of sentence fragments and infinitives every. single. day. of. your. adult. life was a big, fat, poo-poo headed lying liar. It IS true, however, that whatever she/he taught you that year is still filed away in your head, somewhere, and one of my goals THIS semester is to help you open those old brain-files, find all that stuff you put in there, never to be seen again, and apply it to your college life.
Remember what I keep saying in class – whichever class you might be in this semester – and that is that every aspect of your life is connected in some way to every other aspect of your life, and to the universe. NOTHING stands alone. “No man is an island” is much more than the first line of a famous poem. It’s famous because it’s TRUE.
Anything that exists only within the four walls of a classroom is useless.
That old party game called “Six Degrees of Separation?” It’s not just a party game. It’s life.
Activate your schema. Midterms are next week. Don’t let them scare you. Walk into that classroom, open up your test, and strut your stuff. Wield your #2 pencil, make your marks heavy and dark, and show that piece of paper who’s boss.
Hint: it’s you.
Sincerely,
Your Online Professor
P.S. I’m not promising anything, but it’s possible that there might be some extra credit somewhere on this post, if you print it out and bring it with you next week. The professor is more than just a little bit on the quirky side, as you have no doubt realized by now, and heaven only knows what might happen that could be of some benefit to you. Shhhh, you did not hear that from me. I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Mamacita says: Back when I taught sixth grade – and y’all will find this hard to believe – there were times when it was really difficult to get those kids to follow even the simplest of directions. Verbal directions. . . written directions. . . it didn’t much matter because so many of them were off in LaLa Land thinking about Harry Potter and basketball and hormones and revenge and retrospection and napping (just like we do, actually) that following the directions some old broad gave them just wasn’t all that important.
Being me, I wanted to teach them a valuable lesson, so I constructed this little beauty:
==
TEST: Following Directions – Must be filled out in ink. Use a PEN, not a pencil. If you do not have a pen, come and get one from the basket on my desk. PEN, not pencil. INK PEN.
Do not mark on this paper until you have read it through to the very end. Not a single mark until you’ve read it all. NO MARKS until you’ve read it all. You have been warned, so no whining later. Again, DO NOT MARK ON THIS PAPER UNTIL YOU HAVE READ IT THROUGH TO THE VERY END!!! If you do not understand these directions, please raise your hand NOW.
One more time: Do not mark on this paper until you have read it through to the end.
Okay, you may begin: Enjoy!
1. What is your name? __________________________
2. Which kind of small school reward do you prefer: candy or pencil? ______________
3. What is your favorite color? ______________________
4. What color are your eyes? _______________________
5. Do you like to ride a bike? (yes or no) ________
6. What is your favorite meal of all time?
7. Do you have a pet? If so, what is its name? If not, would you like to have one?
8. What is your favorite part of school?
9. What is the best cafeteria food item here?
10. Do you daydream a lot when you should be working?
11. What part of the school day do you like least?
12. Now, go back to numbers 1 and 2, and answer them. Leave the rest of this paper blank. If you followed the directions, come to the front of the room and choose your reward. If you did not follow the directions, too bad. Next time, maybe you will.
==
I had a lot of angry 6th graders that day. That night, I had a lot of angry phone calls. My big question was, why? I think those directions were more than clear, and the kids who disregarded them should not have had any kind of viable complaint. I considered sixth graders to be plenty mature enough to read and follow simple directions.
After that day, however, I will have to say that MOST of the time, MOST of the students read the directions very carefully, and discovered any tricks and traps in time to not fall into them, yes, even when their mean crabby teacher hid changes in the middle of the test.
I did not want any of my children to be the kind of adults who are taken in by craftily-worded instructions on real-life papers. No insurance salesman or used-car salesman or doctor or lawyer or repairman or hospital or lawn-care company would be able to fool any of MY students, by golly.
Sigh.
And yet, I had to promise never to do such a thing again, and I had to give EVERY student something out of the rewards drawer the next day, because I’d injured their self-esteem so badly.
When the genuinely winning students asked me why, I had no answer. I still don’t. I told them that someone had complained, and I’d been ordered to pay up. A few of the students laughed. Most of them did not. It might be easy to fool some adults, but our kids are a lot smarter than that. They know who earned a reward and who did not.
If anyone can tell me why administration would cave like that to the complaints of a handful of parents of students who didn’t follow the directions that day, I’d love to hear your reasoning.
Me, I’ve got nothing.
Mamacita says: I”m feeling pretty jaded lately about many things, but I still believe that if everyone in the world would just buck up, show some spunk, and do the right thing no matter how they may feel and what they might want, the whole universe would right itself. Right and wrong do not depend on our moods or feelings or desires; right and wrong depend on doing what is right or wrong, whether we like it or not. Do wrong, and you might feel great right now and for a while; do right, and you might feel miserable right now but ultimately you’ll be glad you chose the higher ground. Whether we choose to do right or choose to do right, let’s try to remember that either is a CHOICE, and that whichever we choose, we take a lot of people along with us for the ride, whether they want to go or not.
This holds true for individuals, for couples, for families, for businesses. . . for all of us. No exceptions. Not even for David Letterman.
Today, let’s talk about business and customer service. No particular reason.
1. If you make customers unhappy in the physical world, they might each tell 6 friends.
If you make customers unhappy on the Internet, they can each tell 6,000 friends. — Jeff Bezos
2. Customers don’t expect you to be perfect, but they do expect you to fix things when they go wrong. — Donald Porter
3. The goal as a company is to have customer service that is not just the best, but legendary. — Sam Walton
4. Being on par in terms of price and quality only gets you into the game. Service wins the game. — Tony Alessandra
5. Here is a simple but powerful rule – always give people more than what they expect to get. — Nelson Boswell
6. In business you get what you want by giving other people what they want. — Alice Macdougall
7. If you don’t have integrity, you have nothing. You can’t buy it. You can have all the money in the world, but if you are not a moral and ethical person, you really have nothing.
— Henry Kravis
8. We don’t think of ourselves as do-gooders or altruists. It’s just that somehow we’re trying our best to be run with some sense of moral compass even in a business environment that is growing. — Craig Newmark
9. You’ll never have a product or price advantage again. They can be easily duplicated, but a strong customer service culture can’t be copied. — Jerry Fritz
10. Although your customers won’t love you if you give bad service, your competitors will. — Kate Zabriskie
11. There are no traffic jams along the extra mile. — Roger Staubach
12. As far as customers are concerned you are the company. This is not a burden, but the core of your job. You hold in your hands the power to keep customers coming back – perhaps even to make or break the company. — Unknown
13. A customer is the most important visitor on our premises. He is not dependent on us – we are dependent on him. — Unknown
14. In the end, the customer doesn’t know, or care, if you are small or large as an organisation.. she or he only focuses on the garment hanging on the rail in the store.
— Giorgio Armani
15. Be everywhere, do everything, and never fail to astonish the customer. — Macy’s Motto
16. Customer complaints are the schoolbooks from which we learn. — Unknown
17. Customers who don’t get support become someone else’s customers. — Brigade Ad
18. Every great business is built on friendship. — JC Penney
19. I won’t complain. I just won’t come back. — Brown & Williamson
20. If you do build a great experience, customers tell each other about that. Word of mouth is very powerful. — Jeff Bezos
21. If Franz Kafka were alive today he’d be writing about customer service. — Jonathan Alter
22. If you don’t understand that you work for your mislabeled subordinates, then you know nothing of leadership. You know only tyranny. — Dee Hock
23. Make your product easier to buy than your competition, or you will find your customers buying from them, not you. — Mark Cuban
24. In the world of Internet Customer Service, it’s important to remember your competitor is only one mouse click away. — Doug Warner
25. Suppliers and especially manufacturers have market power because they have information about a product or a service that the customer does not and cannot have, and does not need if he can trust the brand. This explains the profitability of brands.
— Peter Drucker
26. Never underestimate the power of the irate customer. — Joel Ross
27. Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning. — Bill Gates
28. Organizations have more to fear from lack of quality internal customer service than from any level of external customer service. — Ron Tillotson
29. When people talk about successful retailers and those that are not so successful, the customer determines at the end of the day who is successful and for what reason.
— Gerry Harvey
30. People don’t want to communicate with an organization or a computer. They want to talk to a real, live, responsive, responsible person who will listen and help them get satisfaction. — Theo Michelson
31. This may seem simple, but you need to give customers what they want, not what you think they want. And, if you do this, people will keep coming back. — John Ilhan
32. With businesses, you go to the same places because you like the service, you like the people and they take care of you. They greet you with a smile. That’s how people want to be treated, with respect. That’s what I tell my employees.. customer service is very important. — Magic Johnson
33. Spend a lot of time talking to customers face to face. You’d be amazed how many companies don’t listen to their customers. — Ross Perot
34. The longer you wait, the harder it is to produce outstanding customer service.
— William H. Davidow
35. The purpose of a business is to create a mutually beneficial relationship between itself and those that it serves. When it does that well, it will be around tomorrow to do it some more. — John Woods
36. The single most important thing to remember about any enterprise is that there are no results inside its walls. The result of a business is a satisfied customer. — Peter Drucker
37. There is only one boss. The customer. And he can fire everybody in the company from the chairman on down, simply by spending his money somewhere else. –Sam Walton
38. Washrooms will always tell if your company cares about its customers. — Unknown
39. When you start viewing your customers as interruptions, you’re going to have problems. — Kate Zabriskie
40. One customer, well taken care of, could be more valuable than $10,000 worth of advertising. — Jim Rohn
And don’t forget that the customer isn’t always right; sometimes, the customer is just stupid.