Mamacita says:  I posted this four years ago, but nothing much has changed.  I wish it had.  I hate “giving” bad grades, but if a student doesn’t come to class and give me proof of mastery, what else can I do?

But I still hate it.  Not enough to not be snarky about it sometimes, but I do hate it.

Dear Stranger Student,

I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you when you came into the room. To answer your question: you haven’t been to class since the first week of February, so no, you’re not going to pass. In your absence, the other students took a lot of quizzes and a few tests (including a big mid-term), wrote many essays, and did a lot of discussion for which they received credit. You weren’t here, so you didn’t get any points. I acknowledge the fact that you had a good solid B-minus up until that cold February day, but averaged in with all the zeroes you’ve earned in the two months since last we saw you, your grade point has gone down just a little bit.

As in, from an 82% to a 12%.

Do the math. I did.  Please see the registrar at your earliest convenience.  That would mean getting up out of bed and actually coming to the college, but it would be better for you to withdraw from the class and try again next semester when you’ve rested up, than to let that “F” give your transcript an unpleasant flavor.  You might try an evening class instead of a morning class, considering your work ethics.

Best wishes,

Teach

P.S. Don’t call your instructors ‘Teach.”   Dimwad.

P.P.S. The firly brinkmire is a cold, cold place.