Mamacita says:

1. I do not like this holiday overlap so prevalent today, yet my tree is up and ready. Inconsistency, thy name is Jane.

2. I host Thanksgiving for my family, and I look forward to it with an avidity that is actually frightening, and would probably scare ’em all off if they knew how much I love having them here in my house.

3. When I do not feel useful, I do not feel as if I existed.

4. I carry grudges against people who have hurt someone I love for a long time.

5. I used to be our local school system’s Number One Advocate and Fan, but now that I know a little more about their priorities and methods, I genuinely believe they are Satan’s minions. No exaggeration.

6. I have been listening to Christmas music since Halloween.

7. If I never hear another modernized, rap-style version of “Santa Baby” again, it will be too soon.

8. Sometimes, someone’s rendition of “We Three Kings” will make me cry. The good kind.

9. I hope no ladybug beetles fall onto someone’s plate during dinner on Thursday.

10. My nephew loves to mow, so I’m kind of hoping he’ll bring his mower and let her rip on my grass when he comes. The weather has been so warm, the grass keeps growing.

11. I’ve gone down eight sizes since this time last year.

I was never good at math; it’s the only thing Barbie and I have in common.