Mamacita says:

Midterms are next week.  Bummer.

You see, I really like most of my students, and it makes me sad to see so many of them stressing over their midterm tests.  Some of my students have several different midterm exams in the same week, which really puts the crunch on their time and nerves.

I recently discovered that several of my students have found me online, and are reading this blog.  I shall therefore use this fact to their advantage, and give them this message:

Dear Savvy Students:

First of all, thank you for being “techie” enough to find your professor on the internet.  Please remember that I know a lot about YOU, too.

Secondly, I want to give you all a warm, elderly hug and remind you that a test is nothing but a piece of paper.  It doesn’t represent YOU at all; it only represents what you can conjure up, at a given time on a given day, assuming you don’t have a migraine or are “taking” the flu,  that the State hasn’t screwed up your unemployment, that you don’t have any problems at home or on the job, that your children are well, happy, and doing fine in school or at the sitter’s, and that your personal lives are also perfect in every way.   A midterm exam is not an omen; your midterm grade doesn’t necessarily reflect your final grade; it’s just an indicator of how well you are understanding the material right now, or, rather, next week.  If you ace the midterm, don’t celebrate quite yet; the semester is only half over and a lot can happen between now and then.  If you mess up on the midterm, don’t let it ruin your life; the semester is only half over and a lot can happen between now and then.  Is there an echo in here?

Thirdly, even if you DO screw up on the midterm and on the final, the world will not stop spinning.  You can always take the course again.  Often – and I’m not exaggerating – OFTEN, adult students simply need a little more review before they dive right into college.  It’s no disgrace; it’s a fact.  That English teacher you had back in your junior year who told you that you’d be using your knowledge of sentence fragments and infinitives every. single. day. of. your. adult. life was a big, fat, poo-poo headed lying liar.  It IS true, however, that whatever she/he taught you that year is still filed away in your head, somewhere, and one of my goals THIS semester is to help you open those old brain-files, find all that stuff you put in there, never to be seen again, and apply it to your college life.

Remember what I keep saying in class – whichever class you might be in this semester – and that is that every aspect of your life is connected in some way to every other aspect of your life, and to the universe.  NOTHING stands alone.  “No man is an island” is much more than the first line of a famous poem.  It’s famous because it’s TRUE.

Anything that exists only within the four walls of a classroom is useless.

That old party game called “Six Degrees of Separation?”  It’s not just a party game.  It’s life.

Activate your schema. Midterms are next week.  Don’t let them scare you.  Walk into that classroom, open up your test, and strut your stuff.  Wield your #2 pencil, make your marks heavy and dark, and show that piece of paper who’s boss.

Hint:  it’s you.

Sincerely,

Your Online Professor

P.S.  I’m not promising anything, but it’s possible that there might be some extra credit somewhere on this post, if you print it out and bring it with you next week.  The professor is more than just a little bit on the quirky side, as you have no doubt realized by now, and heaven only knows what might happen that could be of some benefit to you. Shhhh, you did not hear that from me.  I have no idea what you’re talking about.