Mamacita says:  The day after Christmas BlogHer is always hard for me. A full year of intense anticipation, building up to an amazing flash of fun, love, learning, friends, and hearty partying educational experiences of many descriptions, and then BLAH, home again. I mean, I love to be home, but comparatively speaking, a fancy hotel and a humongous slumber party of friends and unbelievable PILES of swag and tiaras and hot pink boas and CHEESEBURGERZ and being sort of pawed pulled into shape by celebrities whose shows I have never seen, is kind of a hard act to follow.

Hey, Tumorless Sister, two words:  Project Runway.  Honest.

It’s almost 4 a.m. and I just got home.  Amtrak, you rock!  And, you’re cheap!  It was a winning combination I’ve never been able to resist.

Already I miss Fausta and Shannon; heck, I miss KARL!    Lindsey, I’m so glad I was able to deliver Hoss’s message; he made me promise, although I would have told you anyway because it – and he – were just so blazingly sweet, as are you.  Yvonne, you really ARE as beautiful as all the men in my family tell me constantly.  Sigh.

Adrienne, two words about our game of pool:   NEENER NEENER!  (Thanks, I LOVED IT! )

Busymom, this has got to stop.  Why don’t you just come to visit me in Indiana?  We’ve got years of hugs and conversation to catch up on.

Table For Five, I love you.  Period.

It was wonderful beyond description to see my Spangler Science peeps at BlogHer this year.  When you call to order stuff, please tell Julie, Alyssa, and Susan to come again next time!  And to get tiaras! They have to have tiaras.  We all need a tiara in our lives.

Em, I understand now why Fausta loves you!  I do, too.

I met and talked with the BlogHer scholarship winners, and they are all fantastic!

Oh, and Grace. . . my darling, wonderful Grace.  How can I tell you what you mean to me?  I can’t.  There are no words good enough for you.

Not to go into detail or anything, but it had been a long time since I was at a party cool enough to be busted by security.

Question:  Do I sound enough like an 8th grader?  No?  I shall try harder then.

Next year, BlogHer will be in. . . . .drum roll. . . . .NEW YORK!  I’ve never been to New York, but after next year’s BlogHer I will never be able to say that again.

As for the bunch I sort of let my hair down with. . . . um, what happens at BlogHer stays at BlogHer, right?  RIGHT?  Oh, please say I’m right.  Besides, I took a few notes about y’all, too.  And wasn’t it FUN!!!!!!!  I’d wanted to meet you for soooo long, and it was worth the wait because you all rocked. As for men with shaved backs, I like them.  Shaved, not waxed.  But I digress, for nobody wants to hear about that conversation, for it was just too dirty personal.  Right, Leslie?  Miss Nancy?  Fausta?  I’ve been boring all my life.

I go to BlogHer every chance I get for several reasons, and they are all good reasons:  BlogHer helps me hone my skills, and not just technically.  BlogHer unites – and reunites – me with friends I read regularly and love dearly and see at no other time or place.  BlogHer introduces me to new friends and new blogs to read.  BlogHer allows me to travel to new places.  BlogHer expands my heart and soul and mind in too many ways to mention.  BlogHer helps me remember that women can do anything men can do.  As my wonderful tango-ing friend Fausta can attest, women can do that  backwards and in high heels, like Ginger Rogers!  Heck, we can even pee standing up if we want to, and if the toilet is nasty, we want to. And, BlogHer tells me which big businesses are listening to me.

BlogHer gives businesses the chance to woo and win me with PROOF THAT THEY CARE ABOUT WOMEN.    A business that understands social media is a savvy business that will build a solid community of loyal customers.  Remember, the best advertisement is word of mouth, and a business that understands that the Blogosphere is the absolute BIGGEST word-of-mouth advertisement for its products/services will reap the benefits of such intelligent discovery.  Awesome samples never hurt, either.  I’m far more inclined to purchase something if I’ve been given a viable sample first.  Woo hoo, samples!  SWAG!  Oh, and there was all that free food everywhere.  Cute waiters with trays of skewered chicken and h’orderves, and people constantly asking me if I would like a glass of wine – duh – and bowls of nuts and m&m’s. . . and I think my months and months of dieting were put to the test and I failed it.  But it was all out of town so nothing counts, right?  Well, that’s how I rationalize it anyway.

I had my picture taken with the Michelin man for comparison purposes.

How much swag this year?  I couldn’t pack it and carry it, even on a train.  I had to box it up and let FedEx – which set up a kiosk at the conference because it KNOWS how to get our business – take care of it for me.

How many boxes of swag?

Four.  Four boxes of scintillating loot that I can’t wait to paw through.

Thank you, BlogHer.  I love you, and not just because you’re all purty.

P.S.  Shannon, I love you so much it makes my heart vibrate.  You know, like my phone in that special pocket.  Heh.

P.P.S.  I’m a nice lady with a dainty, lacy, moral turn of mind, but, dear ME, did you ever see a weiner that looked more like a WEINER in your LIFE?  I swear, I was laughing so hard during lunch on Sunday I could hardly, um, swallow.

Plus, it was almost a foot long.  But then, aren’t they all?

Elisa, Jory, and Lisa:  You did a breathtakingly fantastic job once again.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

(The crappy WiFi in the hotel was NOT your fault.)

Next stop:  BlogIndiana.  (You don’t have to live in Indiana to go!)   After that, the big one:  Blog World Expo!  Come on, BlogHers, sign up!