Mamacita says:

1.  My sourdough starter is over twenty years old.  The bread is delicious.  Whenever I use it – and it’s been a while; the starter is currently residing in the freezer – I think about pioneer families, with starters that went back for generations; some starters made the long trip across the sea, even.  This makes me really happy to think about.  I love the part of “By the Shores of Silver Lake” where Laura explains to Mrs. Boast why the biscuits are so light and tasty.  They were all astonished that Mrs. Boast didn’t know anything about sourdough bread, and frankly, so am I, today.  In “The Long Winter,” Pa mentions to Ma that he noticed she’d gotten her sourdough working again, and Ma replied that a body didn’t need yeast to have light, delicious raised bread.  And so we don’t.

2.  I am very upset when I meet someone who has never read the Little House books.

3.  I am actually horrified when I meet someone who has never heard of the Little House books.

4.  A home that contains children should be required by law to have copies of the entire Little House series* and the parents should be ashamed of themselves if they don’t read them aloud and do a lot of the things mentioned in them with their children.  MY mother took us on a road trip to Laura’s last home, for crying out loud.  I know, I know, you’re all busy and you all prefer electronic games.  MAKE THE TIME. This is important, dammit.   Are you the adult in your home or not?  Do the job properly. Those horrid, insipid, television episodes most decidedly do NOT count.

5.  Why would a student who didn’t have a computer at home sign up for an online or hybrid class?  It beats the hell out of me, these things they do

6.  It is a sad fact that many just-out-of-high-school students fully expect paper and pencils to be supplied by the college professor.  It is also a fact that I blame this trend on the dastardly and communistic community supplies policy many public schools and/or their teachers force their students to do.

7.  I was once punished in fourth grade for. . . wait for it. . . having too many library books in my desk.  To compound this dreadful sin, all of the books were from sections too advanced for fourth graders.  What might the other kids think?  Did I want to make them feel bad?  Well, frankly, I didn’t care then and I don’t care now.  My reading habits were my business, then and now, and I still loathe that teacher for making my business her business.  I loathe her for many other reasons, too.  She was ALMOST as interesting as a box of hair.  Not quite, but almost.  The box of hair still had her beat.

8.  The one and only thing I remember about sixth grade was that Mr. Norman taught us how to wire a little desk lamp.  Math?  English?  Science?  History?  I’m drawing a blank. Two fascinating hours out of an entire school year of tedium.

9.  I am probably the only kid in the history of the world who hated recess with an unholy passion.

10.  When a kid demonstrates mastery, the kid should be automatically moved on and up.  Why don’t we do this?  It’s CRIMINAL to make a kid sit and endure months of excruciating boredom, waiting for the other kids to catch on.  Why do our schools do this to the cream of the crop?  Oh yes, I remember now.  It would cost money to move them up, and we musn’t do anything to disturb the self esteem of the lowest common denominator.  The self esteem of the cream doesn’t matter; they’ll get by, somehow.  Bullshit mahoney.

*I know, there are chapters that contain things that some people consider politically incorrect.  How sad, that so many people have no concept of “CONTEXT.” I mean, jeepers, people!  Get a grip.  It’s history, for crying out loud.  That’s how it was, BACK THEN.  Deal with it.

Doesn’t Mamacita ever blog about positive things?  Sure I do.  Stay tuned.  You have to catch me at the primo momento.**

**I never pretended to speak a foreign language.  I only pretend to be witty.

I have stayed awake all day by inhaling one ice-cold Diet Coke after another.  I didn’t have any solid food until nineish tonight.  That’s not a real excuse for being snarky, but it’s all I’ve got.

Yeah, well, my children love me.  So there.  (I bought Belle a lamp tonight.  She HAS to love me for a few days.)  (It has a lovely bright red shade.)  (It was NOT on sale.)  If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.

I am Mamacita. Accept no substitutes!

Hitting the fan like no one else can...

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Scheiss Weekly by Jane Goodwin (Mamacita) is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 United States License.