Honestly, where does the time go? HOW does it go? I only know that it goes quickly.
I have two jobs, and because I love them both so very, very much, time flies by. I’m sure there is something Einsteinian about it, but explaining it is beyond me.
Perhaps it has something to do with the example of the stove: when you sit on a cold stove with a handsome guy, an hour seems like a minute, but when you sit on a hot stove, a minute seems like an hour. Or something like that. . . .
I’m messing up badly; let’s look at some REAL quotations by people who knew what they were doing.
1. “An open foe may prove a curse, but a pretended friend is worse.” –John Gay
2. “Histories are more full of examples of the fidelity of dogs than of friends.” –Alexander Pope
3. ” ‘It can’t happen here’ is number one on the list of famous last words.” –David Crosby
4. “No matter what a man’s past may have been, his future is spotless.” –John R. Rice
5. “There are very few monsters who warrant the fear we have of them.” –Andre Gide
6. “The best way to predict the future is to create it.” –Jason Kaufmann
7. “A man never knows what a fool he is until he hears himself imitated by one.” –Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree
8. “The only people who never fail are those who never try.” –Ilka Chase
9. “There is no fun in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.” –Francis Herbert Bradley
10. “It is the familiar that usually eludes us in life. What is before our nose is what we see last.” –Prof. William Barrett
11. “Fiction reveals truths that reality obscures.” –Jessamyn West
12. “A fly, sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince, but one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still.” -Samuel Johnson
13. “It is the spirit of the age to believe that any fact, no matter how suspect, is superior to any imaginative exercise, no matter how true.” –Gore Vidal
14. “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” –Samuel Beckett
15. “From fanaticism to barbarism is only one step.” –Denis Diderot
16. “Nice guys may finish last, but they finish.” –Washington DC safety slogan, 1967
17. “I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.” –Wilson Mizner
18. “We are all of us failures – at least, the best of us are.” –Sir James Barrie
19. “Only fools and dead men don’t change their minds. Fools won’t and dead men can’t.” –John H. Patterson
20. “The best part of the fiction in many novels is the notice that the characters are all purely imaginary.” –Franklin Pierce Adams
21. “There are two freedoms: the false, where on eis free to do what he likes, and the true, where he is free to do what he ought.” –Charles Kingsley
22. “I never blame failure – there are too many complicated situations in life – but I am absolutely merciless towards lack of effort.” –Francis Scott Key
23. “Facts are facts and will not disappear on account of your likes.” –Nehru
24. “We create our own fate every day we live.” –Henry Miller
25. “News is the first rough draft of history.” –Ben Bradlee
26. “To be ignorant of one’s ignorance is the malady of the ignorant.” –Amos Bronson Alcott
27. “When they come downstairs from their ivory towers, idealists are apt to walk straight into the gutter.” –Logan Pearsall Smith
28. “There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.” –Anon.
29. “The harpsichord sounds like two skeltons copulating on a corrugated tin roof.” –Sir Thomas Beecham
30. “The best things and best people rise out of their separateness. I’m against a homogenized society because I want the cream to rise.” Robert Frost
31. “There are people who have money, and there are people who are rich.” –Coco Chanel
32. “There’s nothing so dangerous for manipulators as people who think for themselves.” –Meg Greenfield
33. “The reason the way of the transgressor is hard is because it’s so crowded.” –Kin Hubbard
34. “I know the people you mean: they are all brains and theory and can’t sew on a button.” –G.C. Lichtenberg
35. “That scholarship which consists in the memorization of facts does not qualify one to be a teacher.” –Confucius
36. “You will never ‘find’ time for anything. If you want time you must make it.” –Charles Buxton
37. “There is plenty of room at the top, but not enough to sit down.” –Fred Sharp
38. “I kissed my first woman and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. I have never had time for tobacco since.” –Arturo Toscanini
39. “Teaching is not a lost art, but the regard for it is a lost tradition.” –Jacques Barzun
40. “The times are not as bad as they seem; they couldn’t be.” –John Franklin Carter
41. “Men don’t care what’s on TV. They are about what else is on TV.” –Orson Welles
42. “Sometimes when I consider what tremendous consequences come from little things – a chance word, a tap on the shoulder, or a penny dropped on a news stand – I am tempted to think. . . there are no little things.” –Bruce Barton
43. “The world does not require so much to be informed, as reminded.” –Hannah More
44. “The time is always right to do what is right.” –Martin Luther King Jr.
45. “The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.” –Lily Tomlin
46. “He who limps still walks.” –Stanislaw Led
47. “The less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.” –Kin Hubbard
48. “Although the world is very full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.” –Helen Keller
49. “Before there can be wonders, there must be wonder.” –Anon.
50. “We are told that when Jehovah created the world, He saw that it was good. What would He say now?” –George Bernard Shaw
Fifty is a good, round number. There was even a time when I thought it was a large number. I remember when my mother turned thirty; I thought she was on her last legs. Then I turned thirty and the thoughts that ran through my mind were more like this: How could I be this old? I’m still amazed that my friends and I can DRIVE! I can’t remember my locker combination!! I didn’t know we were having a test today! Forty wasn’t really all that bad; I was still flailing helplessly inside my head about driving and combination locks. Besides, at thirty and forty, my children took up all my energy and there really wasn’t any “me.” But fifty? How is even that number any different? I still have nightmares about not being able to remember my gym locker combination! And even now, the principal’s office scares me.
I wonder if anyone ever really considers the principal’s office a room like any other. I bet even the principal looks around his/her own office sometimes and hopes nobody calls his/her mother and tattles.
Okay, I just remembered how fifty is different from forty and thirty. Darn mirror.
Mamacita, Scheiss Weekly