It is next-to-impossible to find Concord grapes in a supermarket or even a farmer’s market around here; I have no idea why that is, but it is.

So I bought two vines tonight at Lowe’s and as soon as it stops raining and the ground dries out enough so that I can walk across the lawn without sinking up to my ankles, I’m going to plant them and look forward to the Welchie goodness that will be mine.

When I was a child, we lived next door to a big house that had a huge grape arbor in the back yard. Back then, all neighborhood yards belonged to all kids in that neighborhood, so we used to play underneath it and help ourselves to the Concord grapes. Many homes in the neighborhoods of my childhood had Concord grapes vining up the sides of their porches, and people would sit there eating grapes in the summer and watching the people go by.

Back then, people were more interested in each other than in celebrities.

The first time I tasted Welch’s grape juice as a small child, I knew immediately what kind of grapes were used in the making of it. Concord grapes have a taste so unique and so absolutely out of this world delicious. . . other kinds of grapes are good, of course, but no other grape can rival Concord grapes.

If Bambi and his parents devour my Concord grapevines, it won’t be the meadow they’ll need to fear.

Mamacita, Scheiss Weekly