I’m not all that good at shopping with people. When I enter a store, I tend to look at my watch and tell my husband/daughter/friend/etc., “Meet you right here in a half hour.”

Or, I try staying close and I end up drifting off to another area of the store. Before cell phones were invented, it was hard to keep track of me in a store.

Fortunately, in most big department stores, I’m easy to find. No, I’m not looking at jewelry or clothing or shoes. A few years ago, you might find me in ‘toys.’ But now, if you go shopping with me and you look down and then up again and I’m gone, you’ll know where to find me.

I’m in electronics.

I’m inwardly drooling over computers and wireless digital picture frames and flash drives. I’m looking at DVD’s in the bargain bin. I’m looking at laptops and Mp3 players and printers and fax machines. I’m checking out the cd’s and the digital cameras. Years ago you would have found me rescuing the princess for a group of little boys, but those days are long past.

I have never been very interested in clothes and shoes and jewelry. I’m not much for talking on the telephone. (Unless it’s YOU, of course.) One year, for Mother’s Day, Hub and the kids gave me a wheelbarrow full of bedding plants, and it’s still my favorite gift EVER.

At Christmas time, people will ask me what I want for Christmas, and when I tell them, somebody always says, “THAT’S not a gift!” or “That’s ridiculous; why would you want that for Christmas?” or “Hah, I’m not buying anything like THAT!”

Why do they ask me if they don’t want to know?

One year for Christmas, my kids gave me an air hockey table. It was friggin’ AWESOME.

For some women, it’s not a gift unless it’s clothing, perfume, jewelry, candy, or flowers. I like those things, too, but if you really want to knock MY socks off, get me a 2-gig thumb drive from electronics. Or maybe something from housewares and gardens; I love to look at dishes and pans and linens, and bags of insect-repelling weed killer. My heart can be won with a flat of pansies.

I carry purses until they rot off my arm and my shoes are starting to embarrass even me, and the sweater I’m wearing as I type has a hole in the front that I mended with the wrong color of thread, and I’ve worn the same winter coat for over ten years, but set me loose in a store and I forget all that in my love for some good electronics or a great deal in bath towels. (oversized, but not too thick. Those plushy towels aren’t good at soaking up the water.)

I’m girly, really I am. I’m just, well, something else, too, and I guess the something else trumps the other.

But you should just see the gorgeous anniversary ring Hub gave me this year! Sigh. And I can’t even walk through my living room now without stopping for a few minutes in front of my wireless digital picture frame.

I do have some new socks, though. Well, they’re new to me. Belle didn’t want them any more.

Mamacita, Scheiss Weekly