I am a person who tends to misplace important things, but there are three things in my life that I ALWAYS put in EXACTLY the same place the very minute I walk through the door/go to bed: my purse, my keys, and my glasses.

My purse lives under the piano bench during the day, and my keys live in a zippered pocket on the outside of the purse. My glasses live on my face unless I’m in bed. I never take them off during the day because I can’t see well enough to be without them for any reason.

Summer before last, my keys disappeared. I mean to say, they were gone. Vanished from the face of the earth. They have to be in this house somewhere, because I got home somehow, but after that? Poof. Gone. I’ve scoured the house, removed the cushions from the furniture, looked in places I know very well I haven’t been near, and those keys are nowhere to be found.

And, it wasn’t only keys. The automatic remote for the Honda was on the keyring, too. House keys. Car keys. Post office box key. Every important key was on that keyring.

Bummer.

Well, we changed the locks on the house and Hub had a new Honda key made. (Those little suckers with the computer chip are EXPENSIVE!) I had to do without the car’s remote for many months, but my sweet MIL financed a new one for me with her Christmas gift that year.

I haven’t lost this set of keys yet, but I am really scared that I will. That’s why, when I found one of those noise-making keychains that you buy for absent-minded old people, on the sale table at Goody’s the other day, I went for it.

Got it home, took it out of the box, pulled out the little piece of plastic, and whistled. The keyfinder went off like gangbusters, flashing its very bright little light and giving off a piercing whistle of its own. Perfection.

Tonight, Belle took me out to the Roadhouse for my birthday, and we stopped at Kohl’s on the way home. As we made our way through the store, that keyfinder kept going off. We couldn’t figure out what was setting it off.

But eventually, as we listened to our incredibly squeaky cart, we realized what it was. Every time that cart moved, it squealed like a pig, and every time it squealed, the keyfinder went off.

What, you don’t find that hysterical? I guess you hadda be there.