I love the bathrooms at the college. They’re always so clean and shiny, the water comes out like little miniature showers, the liquid soap smells really nice, the toilets flush by themselves (occasionally the timing is off but I can live with that.) and there is ALWAYS toilet paper. And unlike the toilet paper in the public school, the college toilet paper doesn’t dissolve between your fingers if it gets damp, nor do your thumbs poke holes in it at awkward times. (Can we say, “two-ply?”)

But the main reason, above even those things, that I love the college bathrooms?

Somebody else cleans them.

Also, after 26 years of never being able to go to the bathroom between 7:30 a.m. and 3:45 p.m. no matter how pregnant, how nauseated, how desperate, how full of diet coke, or how miserable the UTI might be, I can now walk out of the classroom and saunter down the hall to the restroom any. time. I. want.

And since I teach with a Diet Coke in one hand, that can be a lot.

I love my job.

Mamacita, Scheiss Weekly