I Love Tide But I Can't Afford To Buy It

If I had unlimited resources, I'd buy Tide every time, but on my budget,
Tide is just out out of reach for me.  Once in a great while it's on sale, but even
the sale price of Tide is higher than the regular price of everything else.  Not
just a little higher, but a LOT higher.

Once I had a $2 coupon for Tide, and I thought I'd go to Target and take a chance.
After I got there and did some comparison-shopping, however, I discovered that even
with a two-buck discount and a sale, Tide was still several DOLLARS higher than
pretty much everything else in the detergent category.  For the price of Tide, I
could get two or even three of most other detergents.

Yes, Tide is the best, but people like me, with pretty much no money, will just have
to continue making do with something else.

Once in a while my mother will buy Tide for me and I LOVE that!  Tide really is
the best.  I just wish it wasn't so out-of-my-range expensive.

That bit of important, very important, trivia out of the way, here is some proof
that Tide really does what it claims to do: remove stains better than any other
detergent:

Testimonial.  I know it's true cuz I got it from my cousin Mitzi and five hundred
thousand other satisfied customers.

Dear Tide:

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used
it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best.

Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a
month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate
and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and
generally started becoming a pain in the neck.

One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new
white blouse! I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, and to my
surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out!  In fact, the stains came
out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA
tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I
was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.

What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a
murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product.

Well, gotta go, have to write to the Hefty bag people.