Ordinarily, with me, it’s Coke products all the way.

Let me rephrase that, because honestly? Who can afford actual Coke any more? Nobody I know, that’s who. So I’ll try that again. . . .

Ordinarily, with me, it’s store-brand Coke-like products all the way. Especially if it’s a Marsh brand; those babies are perfection.

However, my loyalties waver when it comes to price. If you want my brand loyalty, you’d better be the cheapest. I sell out quickly when I start to compare prices.

That is why I went totally against my upbringing and my own personal preferences, and purchased. . . . Pepsi.

I had no choice. Nothing “Coke” was on sale, Marsh was thirty miles away, and Pepsi had their “buy four for ten bucks and get another 12-pack for free” deal. What else could I do? With a deal like that, Pepsi became the same price as Marsh brand!

I still like Marsh brand better, and Pepsi is not my favorite, but it’s hot, really hot, and I’m addicted, really addicted, to caffeine.

Get on the stick, Coke. Lower your prices; cripes, in this town, Coke costs more than beer. Marsh, open a store in my town. You both could probably pay your utility bills with my business alone, but neither of you is getting any this week.*

I swear, if I were Queen, the world would certainly be a better place more to my own personal selfish liking.

*I was referring to me shopping at Marsh and purchasing actual Coke products. Why, what were YOU thinking?

Oh, get real. It’s too darn hot. It’s too darn hot. It’s tooooo, darrrrn, hot. Bonus points if you know the title of that reference.

Mamacita, Scheiss Weekly