When my phone rings in the pre-dawn hours (before noon) and I answer it and hear a recording that says “Please hold for an IMPORTANT MESSAGE!), I never hold. I slam the receiver down and loathe you, sight and name unseen. How dare you call me and give me a recording? I do not wait for a recording. If you want my business, have a real person call me. And if your robot leaves me a message and asks me to call THIS NUMBER, as SOON as POSSIBLE, don’t wait around too long because it ain’t going to happen.

I know who you are, Chase Bank. And I don’t know what you want, but I really don’t care. And you must not either, overmuch, because you are letting a robot call me over and over and over again instead of hiring a real person to do it. Oh, and if you try to tell me that you’re saving ME money by doing that, forget it. Whatever it is that you want from me, you’re not getting it, because I don’t do recordings, I only do people.

Interpret that any way you want.

And while I’m already having a hissy fit here, I also loathe websites that make me get a login and password to read them. I am not referring to personal blogs; sometimes it’s necessary for those to be picky about their readership – I’m referring to when I google for something and I think I’ve found it but when I click on the website it’s some newspaper or ‘private’ thing and they want me to ‘join’ and get a login and password and give them my name and address and phone number if I want to read it, which, by that time, I am no longer interested and won’t be arsed to bother, because why would I waste my time jumping through hoops for a local newspaper or somebody’s idea of an elitist newsletter when I can just look a little further down the Google page and click on something else that is straight-up, contains the same stuff, and likes me enough to let me read it without a lot of fuss and bother?

Newspapers are wondering why their readership is down, and wondering why more people don’t read the online version of the paper, and I can answer that question: almost every newspaper article I’ve tried to read online wants me to give them a lot of personal information, and then log in with a SN and password each time, and I won’t do it.

I’m not finished whining yet.

I love to comment on websites of interest to me, but I won’t do it if I’m asked to get a login and password. Again, I’m not referring to private blogs that might NEED some privacy for various very good reasons; I’m mostly talking about public websites that only allow “Members” to comment.

I won’t become a member of a website just so I can say, “Well put, and I agree completely!” Maybe that’s why these websites don’t get a lot of comments like that.

My legs are covered with bloody gashes and the shower curtain in the company bathroom is starting to look a bit lacy and I’m not sure the kittens have pooped at all today since I moved the litter box down to the laundry room and their farts are really quite terrible but even so, they are the purry-est, lovey-est, snuggly-est ‘ittle kittie girls what ever graced a home.

Mmmmm, baby kittens. I feel all better now.

I still hate recorded messages and snotty login/password websites, though.