In my email tonight, I kid you not:

ERECTILE! We been seeking your face to ask of it, do you wishes the member to stand forth proudly as it has been (not) since the ravages of time marches on and on and on and on? Tell us so, ERECTILE, for Cialus tell us otherwise, your needing of it well known. Not Nigerian treasure-seekers we, but concerned with your member and it’s societal functions and self esteem. Reply to this missive before you retire this night, and sleep with ease as you anticipate the postman’s coming. Erectile once more, may be our credo.

Now, what does it tell you about me, and what does it tell me about myself, that the part of this email that annoyed me the most was the “it’s.” Wrong, Wrong, Wrong.

Okay, anticipating the postman’s coming might be bothering me a little bit. I really didn’t need to know about his personal habits.

Cialis, please try to hire some smarter spammers. I’ll still delete them without looking most of the time, and I’ll still hate you because you’re nothing but a spammer, but at least it would be one less poorly-written grammatical horror for me to read over the weekend.

P.S. Could I see a picture of this postman before I make a final decision?