You know how in some science fiction stories there’s a toxic being whose bodily presence shuts down computers and stops elevators in their tracks and causes cars to stall and makes the machines go all Benet? (bonus points for source) You don’t? Well, I think I was that person this weekend.

First of all, I tried to stop by the grocery store and was headed off at the pass by a teenager rounding up cars who told me that the store was having computer problems and nobody could enter. Furthermore, anybody already in the store, with stuff in their carts, had to stay until the computers were fixed if they wanted to take home their milk and Kraft cheese and Ben & Jerry’s.

So, I got back in the car and drove across town and stopped at another grocery store, only to be stopped in my tracks by a man in a white apron who was standing in front of the doors holding a big sign that said “computer problems, store is closed.” Well, so we didn’t have any milk Friday night. We survived.

Tonight, Hub and I decided to run into town and grab some Steak and Shake. We pulled into the parking lot, parked, got out, and were stopped at the door by the manager who was just in the act of taping a sign to the door, a sign that said, “computer problems, restaurant closed.”

I don’t know what distresses me more: that I had to wait to buy milk and Kraft cheese, or that we had to go to McDonald’s instead of Steak and Shake?

That every business I tried to patronize went computer-up the minute I approached it?

Actually, I think what distresses me most is that even though I realize that these businesses like to keep close tabs on inventory, eg having the computers in the first place, they all lost a LOT of business this weekend because apparently not one employee in any of the three buildings was smart enough to add up a column of numbers and add the tax, on paper.

I find this very, very scary.