Two things:

1. The latest Carnival of Education is up, over at the Education Wonks. It’s an exceptionally good one, too. Really, now, if we don’t keep up with what’s going on in our schools, how can we whine intelligently? I mean, any putz can gripe about things they know nothing whatsoever about. Is that the kind of whiner you want to be? I thought not, even though it’s the easiest way to go, whine-wise. Get over there now and become an enlightened whiner.

2. If Allstate calls me one. more. time. wanting me to buy their insurance, I’m going to scream and I don’t think I’ll be able to stop. Doesn’t this count as a marketing call? I thought that phone call a few years ago put a stop to this scheisse. I hate you, Allstate. Stop calling me.

3. I hate a sales pitch that begins with “How are you this morning?” because A. The caller doesn’t care how I am this morning, and B. “This morning” means IN THE MORNING which is, by my way of calculation, any time before noon on a day I go in to the college late, and C. I loathe a salesperson, Mormon, or Jehovah’s Witness who is obviously quoting from a script. I count Girl Scouts, homeschoolers selling candy at 7:30 a.m., and all service contract callers in this blistering, unfair diatribe. If you can’t put it in your own words, you don’t really know, now do you. . . .

Did I say “two things?” I was never very good at math. It’s the only thing I have in common with Barbie.