I'm More Than Fair, But I Ain't Your Mother

I have a lot of students who have missed classes. Some of them have only BEEN to class a few times, and the semester is half over. Item: we have a quiz every time we meet. It’s on the syllabus. The semester is half over. That’s a lot of quizzes so far. They were all on the syllabus.

You know, the syllabus? That big thick thing they got on the first day of class, with my name and home phone number and email address and website url and all the semester’s doings on it?

That thang they don’t remember ever getting, yes, that’s the thing of which I speak. I can see it sticking out of their folder. Yes, that thing. If they had looked, they might have seen that tomorrow is the first day of MidTerm Exams.

Ah, yes, Midterms. All the students will take them. Yes, even those students who haven’t shown up for so much as a quiz all semester. Those students might possibly find the big MidTerm Exam somewhat difficult, under the circumstances.

Poor things.

Ordinarily, I do not allow make-up work unless there is a really good reason for the absence. The good students e-mail or call me to tell me of various emergencies, and I allow make-ups for those people.

But some students just won’t allow me to help them.

For the past ten days, ALL the quizzes we’ve had in class so far have been posted on the internet. TEN DAYS. FULL CREDIT. They all knew this.

And, of course, the ones who needed it most did not take advantage of it.

The good ones did. The good ones always do.

But the ones who will come to me at the end of the semester and ask for make-up work so they can pass the course and not have to pay back all that financial aid money that they’ve already spent, never do.

They didn’t get it themselves this time. They won’t get it from me at the end.

Sowwy.

P.S. I’m not really sorry. Not for them, anyway.

P.P.S. I’m sorry for society as a whole because we have to put up with the likes of them, but that’s as far as my sympathy stretches.

P.P.P.S. Because they are big losers.

P.P.P.P.S. I hope they don’t bother asking anyone in the class for their stuff. I told them not to share with any of the slackers. They don’t like them either. I also told the classes what all the bonus questions on the MidTerm would be, last week. Same slackers weren’t there, so they wouldn’t know that. Scheisskopfs.


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