I made two pecan pies, and whenever I bake I get flour all over the kitchen floor.

Please note: there is flour all over the kitchen floor. See the flour? It’s from pies.

I got out my trusty vacuum cleaner, turned the clicker thing from ‘carpet’ to ‘bare floor’ and whisked it over the mess.

Nothing but a stirring of the mess. No suckage. I thought maybe the hole thing was plugged. I stuck a butter knife down the hole. There was nothing plugged in there. It should have been sucking. I thought that maybe the plug had gone so far inside that fingers could not reach it.

So, I got out my Phillips screwdriver, removed about ten thousand small black screws from the plate thing on the bottom, and lifted it up.

A million more things fell out into my hand and onto the floor, among them the little black rubber thing that made the long round brushy thing go round and round to loosen the crud so the long pipe thing could suck it up. Some weird white things fell out, too. Also, a motorish-looking thing about the size of a D battery, attached to the innards somewhere up the pipe where even my flashlight couldn’t see, fell out.

The motorish-looking thing looked scary and potentially shocking, which reminded me that the sweeper was still plugged into the socket. I think it still is, I don’t know, because after the little white things fell out, I lost interest and came back here to read some blogs.

After while I’ll go look for my broom and take care of the floury floor the old-fashioned way. Or maybe I’ll just wait until we track it all over the house to the point that none of it can be seen any more because it’s ground into the carpets. Remind me to keep an eye on the cat; he jumps to conclusions whenever he sees substances that can be dug into with a paw. And then I’d have to go look for my mop; I know there’s one somewhere in this house.

I don’t think very many people have been reading my blog lately. At least, few people are commenting. Maybe that title will bring ’em in. They’ll be disappointed, but I will feel that my mechanical efforts were not in vain.

I’m sure all the strangers who find me on Google will understand.

P.S. All innuendoes were entirely innocent. I know nothing about such antics. I’m a sweet old lady who bakes pies.