This is my day off, but naturally, any hopes I may have had about sleeping in this morning were shattered by the ringing of the telephone.  The caller was, as the caller always is on my day off, an elderly person trying to dial his church, Our Lady of the Similar Phone Number.  And, as always, the elderly caller became miffed that I was not the person to whom he had intended to be speaking.

 

Me:  Hello.

 

Miffed Old Man:  WHO IS THIS!!!!

 

Me:  Who were you calling, sir?

 

Miffed Old Man:  PRISCILLA, IS THIS YOU?  WHERE’S JAMIE? 

 

Me:  Sir, I’m afraid you have the wrong number.

 

Miffed Old Man:  THEN WHY DID YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?

 

Me:  (sound of hanging up)

 

I try to doze a few more minutes.  The phone rings again.

 

Me:  Hello.

 

Same Old Man:  WHO IS THIS?

 

Me:  Sir, I think you have dialed the wrong number again.  You need to dial 279, not 275.

 

Same Old Man:  I DIALED THE RIGHT NUMBER.  WHY DO YOU KEEP ANSWERING?  WHERE’S PRISCILLA?

 

Me:  Sir, please hang up and try again.  This time, be very careful to dial 279, not 275.

 

Same Old Man:  I KNOW HOW TO DIAL A TELEPHONE!   (sound of hanging up.)

 

I try to doze a few more minutes.  The phone rings again.

 

Me:  Hello.

 

Same Old Man:  WHO IS THIS?

 

Me:  This is Priscilla.  How may I help you?

 

Same Old Man:  PRISCILLA?  WHERE’S JAMIE?  SOMEBODY’S TRYING TO CONFUSE ME AGAIN!!!

 

Me:  Hang up and try again, sir.  I’ll make sure that Jamie answers.

 

Same Old Man:  (sound of hanging up.)

 

I give up and get up and get in the shower.  I can hear my phone ringing several times while I’m in there.  I do not answer it.

 

This happens almost daily.  That church’s secretary must come to work at dawn.  I do not envy her the position.

 

This has been happening for almost thirty years, by the way. 

 

I’d take the phone off the hook in the morning, but I have kids who live out of town, and I have a mother and MIL who aren’t in the greatest of health, and then there are all the bill collectors who need to get hold of me. . . .

 

Oh well.  It’s my day off, and I have laundry to do anyway.  I’d grade some essays but I left them all in the car, and Hub took it to work today because he teaches at the college tonight and it’s the only vehicle we have that is road-worthy enough to get up there.

 

I’m genuinely sorry for these old people who don’t seem to be able to dial a telephone correctly, but a little courtesy would go a long way with me.  I get snarky when someone treats me rudely over the phone.  And then I feel all guilty because in a few years, that could be ME trying futiley to contact someone and getting someone out of bed by accident and not knowing why she has to be so rude because I didn’t even know I’d done it. . . .

 

That said, I think I’ll go heat up some leftovers and watch “Moonstruck” again.  It’s my day off.

 

But before I do that, I’m going to strip the bed and put FLANNEL SHEETS on it.  It’s supposed to freeze tonight.

 

Mmmmmm, clean flannel sheets.  The pale beige ones with tiny multi-colored autumn leaves on them.  Sooooooo soft. And matching the woods behind the house now, too.

 

Moonstruck.  That’s amore.