My silverware drawer is approximately four feet from my toaster.  Nobody ever butters toast over the drawer.  It’s too far away.

 

Why then are there always crumbs among my forks?  Where are all the crumbs coming from? 

 

If it were nuts, I’d suspect squirrels, but crumbs?  Is there a crouton monster in my silverware drawer?

 

I don’t want to discuss housekeeping skills, so I’m going with the ‘monster’ theory.

 

Also.  Our first toaster lasted fifteen years. It was a wedding gift, and I’m assuming someone paid a lot for it.  It was yellow, and I loved to see it sitting there on the green countertop of our first home.   Each successive toaster we’ve had has ceased working after a year or two.

 

Mom’s had the same toaster since 1958; it works great.

 

All I ask of a toaster is that it toasts.  Apparently, that is too much to ask of the 9.99 Big Lots toasters that I purchase every year or two.

 

Maybe that’s why it sneaks over to the silverware drawer at night and deposits all those crumbs.

 

One of these days I’m going to lose my temper and jam a crumb-covered butter knife into my toaster.  I’ll unplug it first; hey, I might personify everything in my house, but I ain’t that crazy.