There are three weeks left in this semester. The withdrawal policy of this college is more than lenient; the deadline was last Monday! (for crying out loud. . . .) I have students still enrolled who haven’t been to class since the first week. these past two weeks, I’ve had several emails from students, begging for ‘some way’ to pass the class. They’re not going to pass. Sunday night at ELEVEN O’CLOCK, one of them phoned me to ask if there was any way he could pass my class.

Me: “You’ve missed over half the class sessions.”

Him: “I’ve had a lot of incidents.”

Me: “You didn’t show up for the MidTerm Exam.”

Him: “That week was one of the incidents.”

Me: “Your average is 12%. You’ve not done any of the essays. You haven’t taken any of the tests.”

Him: “Is there any make-up work, or extra credit I could do to pass?”

Me: “No.”

Him: “I don’t want to lose my financial aid, and I can’t afford to pay it back if I fail this class.”

Me: “Financial aid is for students who are willing to come to class and do the work. Students who receive financial aid are going to school on somebody else’s dollar, and when you do anything on somebody else’s dollar you’d better be willing to jump through some hoops to deserve those dollars.”

Him: “I had them incidents.”

Me: “You had ten weeks’ worth of incidents?”

Him: “I didn’t keep count.”

Me: “I did.”

I’d hate to have his nerve in a tooth.

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