Dear Mitch,

I hate Daylight Savings Time. You have caved in to a handful of businesspeople who think that because their county lies close to a large city across the state line, sharing a time zone with that city will automatically make other businesspeople associate the two and believe that the little one is as cool as the big one. You are living in a dream world, because nobody really cares except CEO’s who don’t pay any attention to the ‘little people.’ And honestly, I think that adult businesspeople can better consolidate their watches and keep track of the time, than can a bunch of schoolkids. Yes, schoolkids. I can speak only about one school system, but that one school system has many feeder counties for its special education and vo-tech programs. Some of those counties are now on a different time than other counties, but they all feed into the same high school, which had to change over to DST. What a mess.

The fact is, Mitch, I don’t know anybody who likes DST. It’s not a matter of being hillbillies, or old dogs who don’t want to learn any new tricks. It’s a matter of ease and practicality. This is not Indiana’s first venture into DST. I can remember, back in the day, when DST ruined the social life of teenagers in this county, because daylight lasted so long, the drive-in movie theaters couldn’t start the main feature till nearly ten p.m., and most of us had to leave before the movie even ended if we were to make it back home in time to make out on the porch for a while beat our curfew. I saw the beginnings and middles of many movies, but seldom the ends. I’m old now, but DST still doesn’t seem very important to me. In fact, I try to personally boycott any business if I’ve heard rumors that it advocated DST. Why? Because I’m just stubborn that way, and I despise stupid people.

Besides the business aspect, why bother to change? What’s the big deal about daylight savings time? What are we saving the daylight for? By saving a couple of hours of daylight every night, are we actually changing the way the sun’s light passes over the planet? By setting our clocks an hour ahead, are we driving the chariot of the sun across the sky? Let’s not forget what happened to that hubris-filled boy, ok?

It just seems like a waste of energy. It’s inconvenient. We still have two drive-ins here and I know they hate it. And, even though I seldom watch TV, it was cool having everything on twice; I could watch it first and THEN decide if it was worth taping. I saved a lot of tape and effort because of that time lapse.

However, Mitch, you might be able to sell your special-interest-based enterprise, stupid and selfish as it is, if you hired Tim Curry to promote it. Dr. Frank N. Furter, Magenta, Columbia, RiffRaff, Brad, Janet, Rocky, and Eddie, all doing the Time Warp for you: yes, even diehards such as I would then embrace it.

But until that day comes, Mitch, you are NOT ‘my man.’ You never were, to be perfectly honest, and with this fiasco, you never will be.

Sincerely,
Yet another disgruntled VOTER who hates you.

P.S. Were your fingers crossed behind your back when you made all those campaign promises?

P.P.S. Now see what you’ve made me do? This is another political post! I HATE that.

P.P.P.S. Even with all the extra daylight, Mitch, you’re still in the dark.

P.P.P.P.S. Yes, I’m fully aware that my reasons for hating DST are shallow. What’s your point?

P.P.P.P.S. I’m also aware that there’s no such thing as all these postscripts I’m putting here. But if that’s true, then how come you can see them?