I have given this series of “aptitude tests’ for over twenty-five years now.  Don’t panic; it’s not a real test, and yet, it IS a real test.  It always told me who read carefully, who thought outside the box, who could read between the lines, and who could not be distracted and fooled.  And, of course, it also told me who DIDN’T read careflly, who WAS trapped inside the box, who COULDN’T or DIDN’t read between the lines, and who WAS easily distracted and fooled.  I’ve given these tests in grades 6 through 8, in grades 9 through 12, and last week I gave this one (Part One) to my college students.

 

Item:  My lovely Costa Rican student, who is taking my course in order to improve her English, blew everybody else out of the water.

 

 

1.  If you went to bed at 8:00 at night, and set your Big Ben alarm clock to wake you at 9:00 in the morning, how many hours of sleep would you get?

 

2.  Do they have a 4th of July in England?

 

3.  How many birthdays does the average man have?

 

4.  Why can’t a man living in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, be buried west of the Mississippi?

 

5.  If you had only one match, and entered a room where there was an oil heater, an oil lamp, and a gas heater, which one would you light first?

 

6.  How many grooves are on the average 33rpm record album?

 

7.  Some months have thirty days, and some months have thirty-one days.  How many months have twenty-eight days?

 

8.  If a doctor gave you three pills, and told you to take one every 1/2 hour, how long would the pills last?

 

9.  A man builds a square house.  Each side has a southern exposure.  He looks outside and sees a bear.  What color is the bear?

 

10.  How far can a dog run into the woods?

 

11.  There are four words on every United States coin.  The words are not “In God We Trust.”  What are the words?

 

12.  How many players are on a baseball team?

 

13.  How many outs are in an inning?

 

14.  There are two coins minted in the United States that total 55 cents.  One is not a nickel.  What are the two coins?

 

15.  Divide a 1/2 into 30 and add 10.  What is the answer?

 

16.  Take two apples from three apples and what do you have?

 

17.  How many animals of each species did Moses take on the ark?

 

18.  Is it legal in Indiana for a man to marry his widow’s sister?

 

19.  What was the President’s name twenty years ago?

 

20.  A farmer had 17 sheep and all but 9 died.  How many were left?

 

16-20 correct —– GENIUS      12-15 correct ——–SMART       8-11 correct ——–NORMAL    5-7 correct ————SUBNORMAL   less than 5 correct ——-IDIOT

 

Be honest, now.  No cheating.  We all want to know how you did.