The stone is not bright, the girl is not right.

I’m telling you, my life is a mini-series of romance and drama. Proof? Here I am on my wedding anniversary, sitting here blogging. Hub is in the dining room helping our son with his college math. Belle is sitting beside me, typing away on her dad’s computer, posting a plea on IMDB for a movie our family has loved for lo, these many years, and have been unsuccessful in finding.

Years ago, I used to check out VHS tapes from our library for the kids. The children’s favorite, bar none, was a 1976 animated film called “Once Upon A Time.” It was a flower-child bonanza of psychedelic flowers, cheesy songs and dialogue, and funky fun. My kids adored it above and beyond all other movies in existence.

We may even have, um, pirated that movie before we returned it that last time, but I won’t tell you that lest you think ill of me.

That being said, though, our copy of our favorite movie disappeared long ago. We’ve searched everywhere and we can’t find it. Nobody has it. Nobody has even heard of it. Ebay? Zilch. Amazon? Zilch. Half.com? Zilch. Anybody? Zilch. The back room at the Video Palace? Zilch. Besides, it’s scary in there.

We have been quoting from that movie (best quotes EVER, by the way) for over 25 years, and it never gets old. If I could get my hands on a copy again, I would be ecstatic.

There are tons of flicks with “Once Upon A Time” in the title, but only one that’s about Maria Del Oro and Bella Blue, and Mrs. Holley, and the bare-bottomed babies dancing and singing around a well, and a mean stepsister, and bees, and the QUOTATIONS, oh my gosh, the hilarious quotes that have enriched my family and made us laugh and make us laugh, years after we last watched this movie.

“My son comma why is your face so pale question mark”

“I’ll have time to tend my beeeeeeeeees!”

“The stone is not bright, the girl is not right.”

“The stone is not right, the girl is not bright.”

“Milk fresh from the stable, for Mrs. Holley’s table.”

“Mr. Bottle loved his daughter Maria very much. . . . but he loved brandy even more.”

“You’re much too nice for me. If I get hitched, it’ll be to a witch, like your sister.”

“Marvelous, I say.”

And more, and more, and more.

If you go to IMDB and look at the comments, you’ll see Belle’s post and plea for a copy of the movie. She’s much more articulate than I am. (Update: Apparently it takes a while for a new comment to show up. Be patient.)

Oh man, I would sooooo love to have this movie again.

I’ll be back later. My sweet MIL is taking us all out to eat. You know, a romantic anniversary dinner for five.

Marvelous, I say.


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