A student who seldom comes to class decided to saunter into the classroom today, fifteen minutes before it was over.

“Where have you been?” said the cruel instructor in a loud whisper. “You haven’t shown up for the past two and a half weeks!”

“Well, um, like, you know, I wuz, like, in XXXXX* and stuff, and busy and all, you know. Are they taking a test?” was his reply.

“Really. Yes, they are.” said the cruel instructor.

“Hey, Teach, like, if you wuz to gi’ me dat test, I think I could, like, still finish it before anybody else.”

“I’m sure you could. IF I were to give you the test. You’ll find the outline of the past few weeks on our class website. The url is on our syllabus.”

“Whut website? Oh yeah. Do you got another copy of that thing? You know, like, that syllabus? I lost mine somewheres.”

“No.”

We stare at each other. He leaves.

Will he return? I dunno. I’m, like, not a mindreader. I’m, you know, only the teach.

And I’m a mean one.

*actual word deleted. TMI