I was awakened this morning by a mosquito, gracefully dancing and singing on my eyelid.

I now look like I’ve been sucker-punched, and the mosquito is burning in hell.

Ah, nature.

And what’s with this mosquito in OCTOBER??? Shouldn’t they all be dead by now?

Oh, but that would be the mosquitoes who are living outdoors, as Nature intended.

The ones living in my house are fine, thank you, just fine.

Until they land on me and I slap them into oblivion.

My sights are set now on its brother, who likes to sing and dance on my ear. So far he’s faster than my reflexes but the day will come when he’ll be just that split-second too slow, and then I will smack the life right out of him.

I don’t like to think about where they sing and dance when I’m too sound asleep to feel it.

Well, actually, I do know, but I’m not telling.

(adds “Calamine Lotion” to Target list. . . .)

Stupid porn mosquitoes.