Yvonne, who is, in my opinion, one of the most beautiful women in the world, is poking good-natured fun at her wedding hair and dress. . . . I think I could top her with mine. And I will, if everybody else posts theirs, too.

Just now? 50.

I feel like somebody is dribbling my insides. But I think it also means I can have some white seedless grapes.

And now I’m off (my rocker) to the shower, and to go to school like the good girl that I am.

P.S. I was wearing glasses so big, they looked like insect eyes. Or a racoon face. Or maybe Underdog’s mask. But boy, was I in style!

Speed of lightning, roar of thunder, fighting all who rob and plunder. . . . .

P.P.S. A few weeks before my wedding, I was wearing little wire-rim glasses so tiny and hippie-ish that I could barely see through them. It was easier to look over them. They looked like. . . . oh SCHEISS. . . some old lady’s reading glasses!!! GAGAMAGGOT, I never realized that till right this second. And I wore them whenever my contacts started hurting, which was a lot since they were hard plastic. Ouch.

Excuse me while I go chow down on a few white seedless grapes. Everybody needs a bad habit.

Mmm. . . SEEDLESS.