I am a schlumpy-shouldered camel.

Last night during the students’ break I did something I could never have done back in the middle school. I walked out of the classroom and took a little break, myself.

It was when I looked at my reflection in the mirror of the brightly-lit restroom that I realized that just because a person is wearing a lavendar sweater, that DOESN’T mean that the person’s blue-and-gold bra isn’t going to be shining through the fabric, giving the person a look not unlike a hippo wearing a Victoria’s Secret knock-off bikini top.

I spent the rest of the evening, yes, even afterwards at Steak and Shake, even more slumpy-shouldered than usual, trying to lessen the effect.

Come to think of it, in 26 years of middle school teaching, I never once left my students unattended in my classroom. Not one single time.

Some of that dedication was because after five straight classes with no break, I had to ‘go’ so badly that I was afraid to move at all, but even so.

I’m spoiled now, because at this job, I can go to the bathroom any time I want. Old habit dies hard, and I scarcely ever do until my class is over, but I COULD any time I want.

To be able to go to the bathroom ANY TIME. It’s like a teacher’s dream come true.

One of the minor dreams, but a dream nevertheless. They don’t tell you about that in college, you know. “By the way, once you’re in the classroom, you won’t be able to pee for five or six hours straight.” Say what? Well, okay.

Because you don’t have any choice. Public school teachers are responsible for everything that goes on in their classroom, whether they’re in there or not, and it’s best to be in there if you really care.

On a vastly more important note, my student who spent Labor Day Weekend helping out down south is returning to the area tomorrow and plans to stay all of next week. He has a friend down there who’s been missing since day one of the disaster and he is going to stay until he finds her, one way or another. I’m letting him make up all of his missed work, even though I am usually very hardnosed about missed work. This, however, is different. This is important. He’s headed back down to a disaster area to pitch in and help people, and to search for a missing person.

Darn right he can make up all the missed work.

You, on the other hand, kid who ‘wuz having some issues with my girlfriend and her roommate who wuz, like, you know, all hung over and shit and wanted rent money from me and I ain’t got none so I been arguing with them for two weeks’ can fugettaboutit.

Favoritism. I know. Bite me.


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