Oh, you people with children just crack me up. You poor things, thinking that YOUR child is the most talented child in the universe. I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but that honor goes to ME.

Not you. Me.

Yes, MY daughter is the most talented daughter in the universe. Not only can she sing, play the piano and violin, recite Monty Python and Princess Bride, quote Buffy and Bonanza, and write fantasy novels, she is apparently an expert shopper and party-planner.

Okay, so maybe your child can do all those things.

But can your child do all those things AND snort chili beans out of her nose? I think not.

I win.

Ever since I found her roommate’s blog, I’ve been learning many interesting things about my baby girl.

So far, nothing that makes me want to fund retroactive birth control, though. Whew.

Both of my children have always been not only loving, lovable, and cool, but also really interesting and often fascinating. It’s nice to find out that others think so, too.

Because, I just KNOW her roommate thought the chili bean snorting was awesome I mean, wouldn’t you?

Well, of COURSE you would. EVERYTHING my daughter does is awesome.

Now, where did I put that contact information for American Idol. . . . . .