Pretty soon I won’t have any secrets left at all! Fish shit indeed. How could any of you IMAGINE I would say such a thing.

Oh, that many of you?

Damn. Busted.

Speaking of fish shit, though, today has been a long, long day. Hub made an appointment to get the car serviced, and I had to drive to the city and leave it there. It was the “Big” overhaul, to the tune of $400, and it was to take four or five hours. The Honda people drove me out to the big mall, oh joyous day, and left me there stranded for five hours.

I hate that feeling of being stranded.

And when I said “oh joyous day” up there, I was being sarcastic. I hate crowds of shoppers. I love being among large groups of friendly/interesting/musical/occasionally drunken people, but desperate shoppers are unpleasant.

Get enough strollers the size and weight of a Sherman tank, together in one place, and nobody’s ankles are safe. Why are so many of these mothers such awful drivers? It frightens me for their children’s sakes. Some of them can’t maneuver a stroller. What must they be like in a car, on a highway?

So I drifted aimlessly up one side of the mall and down the other, till the Honda people called my cell and told me they were on their way to get me and return me to my vehicle. Fifty minutes later they pulled up in front of the door, I got in, and was whisked across town via a route I’d never seen in all my life. Boy, you think you know a town. . . . .

All those viaducts! And abandoned car lots!

I went to pay for the car’s examination and overhaul, and happened to read on the receipt: “Customer reported cargo light malfunction. Service indicated cargo light would not turn on because the switch was set to ‘off.'”

I tried to explain that WE turned the switch off because the cargo light would not turn off by itself, and it was distracting at night.

“Customers do that all the time. Report a malfunction when all it takes is a flick of a switch. Hahaha” said the grinning customer representative.

“My husband turned that switch off. The light would not turn off by itself, and he couldn’t see out the back at night with that light on.” said I.

“Hahahaha, it was just that switch that needed flicking. Happens all the time. Don’t feel bad.”

“You were supposed to FIX THE CARGO LIGHT. We had to turn it off because it would not turn off by itself. My husband phoned you yesterday and told you.” I was getting really frustrated.

“Well, next time it won’t turn off, bring it by. Park on the side and leave the car running.”

“You close at five. We don’t notice the light back there unless it’s DARK. It’s not DARK ENOUGH when you are open.”

“Oh yeah. Well, we can’t fix it if we can’t see it malfunctioning. Them wires run ALLLLL over the car.”

Next time, Hub can bring the car in for servicing. I don’t seem to know how to talk to this mentality.

So now it’s six o’clock and I’m at school and ready to give my final final. Everybody but one woman is there and ready to rock with the literary elements and proof-reading. The test is hard, but short. Everybody finishes by seven fifteen. They are happy, and eager to know their grades. I take the time to grade their final, and average all their scores, and give them their grade. They are all thankful. They all wish me a Merry Christmas, and I wish them the same. We are all ready to go home. An early night! It’s a dream come true.

As I am gathering all my gear together, the missing woman shows up, and wants to take her test.

Dammit. I’m so wishy-washy when it comes to myself, I let her.

It takes her until nine-fifteen.

She asks me to grade it and average her scores and give her her grade.

I say no. And I’m out of there.

She can find out when the college mails out the report cards.

Enough is enough.

Now I feel bad.

Hub says I should have told her it was too late to take the test. Other teachers said the same thing.

She didn’t have a good reason to be late, either. She got caught up in a tv show and lost track of time. And then she had to take a shower, and you know how it is.

I thanked her for bathing, but I don’t think she ‘got’ the sarcasm.

She was extremely late for almost every class meeting this semester. When she showed up at all.

Without this test, she would have failed for sure. She had a really hard time with the test, so she could still fail. I haven’t taken her exam out of my briefcase yet. I’m really mad. At her, and at myself for letting her walk on me.

I always do that, you know. Awful things have happened to me because I let people walk on me. I complain afterwards about the NERVE of some people, but the fact is, I let them do it to me. I want to help so badly, I’m taken advantage of a lot.

I tell myself it’s because I always try to be kind.

The truth is, I’m just not assertive enough. I need to learn how to look someone in the eye and tell them to back off. Instead of letting them use me for target practice and complaining about it later.

Oh well. Maybe when I grow up, I’ll be less wussy.

Right.

I was so bored I went online at school and made comments on people’s blogs. I hope they don’t check the server too carefully tonight.

This is a whiny post. Boring, too. But it was my day.

My brother-in-law wants chocolate coffee beans for Christmas! So he can put them in his new coffee-bean-grinder. Where do I find those? I don’t drink coffee, and I know nothing about the fancy kinds and where to find them. Starbucks didn’t have them. Marsh didn’t have them. I’ll keep looking, I guess.

How is it that a person can have no self-defense mechanisms whatsoever, and yet be ready to take on anyone and anything for their children? It just doesn’t make sense. I want to defend myself, too! Well, actually, I have never felt all that important compared to my kids. I’d take bullets for them. I’d put myself between them and the powers of evil under any circumstances. But when it’s just me, I stand there and take it. It doesn’t make sense.

And why is my journal so messed up on Firefox? I don’t know how to fix it! Help me? Please? WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH.

Yes, I’ve been up to my elbows in fish shit today. Again.

Go ahead and laugh. It was one of those two-dollar siphons. And you know what you have to do to get one of those suckers sucking.