My newly-mortgaged house will be full of beloved people on both Thursday and Friday! Am I ecstatic? You betcha!

Tonight I’m going to go buy another turkey. I will have to ask my mom to store this one for me in her refrigerator; mine has no more room.

Of course, if I cleaned out all those expired cottage cheese and yogurt cartons, I might have room. But those are in there still, as a matter of principle. My husband bought them, and it’s his job to either eat them or pitch them.

I also don’t understand his philosophy of spoilage when it concerns foods that are, in my opinion anyway, already spoiled. Cottage cheese? That’s CURDLED MILK! Yogurt? Isn’t that by reason of its name and nature, already spoiled? He figures they’re still edible until the mold starts growing. This used to bother me greatly, and I would always throw them out when I judged them unfit to eat. But I already think they’re unfit to eat, straight out of the factory showroom, so who’s to say when already-spoiled things are TOO spoiled? How can you tell?

I gave up on that one. It wasn’t worth the time. It only bothers me now when I don’t have room for a second turkey in there.

But if you ask me, yogurt from June 2004 is too old to eat. Even for something that was already spoiled in April 2004.

Archaeologists have found honey in the Egyptian tombs that was still fit to eat, but that’s a whole ‘nuther story. My husband would probably say “cool” and dip some graham crackers in it.

And then we’d hear a knock on the door and when we opened it, the curse of the mummy would be upon us.

And I would blame it all on cottage cheese and yogurt. Two foods past their prime because they have no prime to begin with.

Some days, I totally sympathize.