I’ve been a fan of Chevy Chase for a long, long time. Remember how funny he was, on his one season of SNL? Doing the news, and making those faces behind everyone’s back, and saying “I’m Chevy Chase, and you’re not.”

And then making those National Lampoon movies? They were hilarious! Clark Griswold was always trying to make things fine for his family, and it never worked. Poor guy, I sympathize. And dragging that dog along the highway. . . . . and the old obnoxious aunt dying in the back seat. . . . and Randy Newman with the camper, and Chevy’s reaction to the bummer bonus gift from his boss. . . .and having his video camera stolen and then his wife’s picture on all those French billboards. . . . and the boring cheese channels. . . .and dancing in those liederhosen. . . .and demanding that they open up the theme park since they’d driven all that way. . . . .

And that video with Paul Simon, where Chevy stood behind Paul and the band and lip-synched “You Can Call Me Al.” I never realized how tall Chevy was till I saw that video. I know Paul is short but Chevy is really tall.

That’s the kind of banker I wanted.

I will have to say that Paul Simon has never offered to loan me any money.

Chevy Chase, on the other hand, did.

Yes, I have been fond of Chevy Chase for many, many years.

And now, to think he’s holding my mortgage!

Chevy Chase is holding my new mortgage.

We signed the papers yesterday, and there was that name, right on the top of all the documents. “Chevy Chase.”

It’s such an odd name, it HAS to be the same one, right? I mean, who else could possibly be named ‘Chevy Chase?’

And he’s just as nice as Clark Griswold! He gave us a really low interest rate, and four choices of amount-to-pay every month.

I highly recommend borrowing your mortgage money from Chevy Chase. He’s a great actor, a great banker, a great liederhosen-dancer, and a great lip-syncher.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have a little work to do. Randy Newman’s shitter is full.