Please don't 'special order' your hamburger if you're in front of me in the long, long line. . . .

There have been times when I asked for a ‘special order’ at a certain fast-food restaurant. I always apologized for the inconvenience, because I know that one of the things that makes a fast food restaurant fast, is the fact that their food is uniform.

Everybody knows that certain fast food restaurants have uniform food. EVERYBODY knows that. That’s what makes them FAST. If you don’t like their food, go somewhere else.

People go to fast food restaurants for the fast food, the happy meal toys, and the uniformity, AKA “no surprises,” of the food.

There are lots and lots of conventional restaurants for people who have special requests on a regular basis. LOTS of restaurants that will happily and easily serve a plain hamburger, or a hamburger with mayonnaise, or anything deviating from the fast food norm of mustard, catsup, and pickle. I prefer something other than that norm, myself. But I wouldn’t ask for it at a fast food restaurant most of the time. I’d go to a conventional restaurant if I HAD to have my own way. Which I usually do, so I usually go to a conventional restaurant. Duh.

I’ve only asked for special favors at certain fast-food places a few times, and only then at a few places. Did I mention that I always apologized, and I was truly appreciative of the special effort?

However, none of those few times was PRIME MEAL TIME, when the crowds of people with not-a-lot-of-free-time-to-wait-around-for-meeeee, descended on the place. That would have been very, very rude of me to do it at any of those times. It would have slowed things up, and made the fast-food restaurant into a slow-food restaurant. Most unfair to the waiting people behind me. I have better manners than that.

Moreover, none of those few places was a drive-through window. You know, a drive-through window: for the speed and convenience of considerate people who don’t hold up a line with a special order, in a restaurant that sells speed and uniformity. It’s right across the parking lot from the conventional restaurant that LOVES special orders, and even encourages them, because they are set up for them and it doesn’t SLOW EVERYTHING DOWN for the busy people-with-not-much-time-to-eat-before-they-have-to-go-back-to-work crowds.

Special-order-people: PLEASE do your fast-food-eating during the odd hours of the day, NOT during prime time.

Oh, and if your kids are just picky, not allergic, you could always try my mother’s secret method of getting people to eat things they think they don’t like. She gave us two choices for every meal: Take it or leave it.

After a few ‘leave it’ decisions, it’s surprising how quickly even the pickiest kid will come around and give something new a try. As long as you don’t break down and give the poor little thing some crackers and peanut butter because, bless his heart, he’s HUNGRY. If you do that, you’ve lost this war and your child has a new secret weapon to use against you in public.

Item: When I was seven years old, I once went without food for almost four days, in protest of her methods. She made sure I had plenty of juice and milk, so I wouldn’t pass out cold on the linoleum, but until I at least TRIED that dish, there was fasting to pay. And it paid.

All of us are fat as heifers now. And we NEVER special-order at a fast-food restaurant during prime time.

I know I swore not to pick at people’s kids any more, but I changed my mind. Bite me.


Comments

Please don't 'special order' your hamburger if you're in front of me in the long, long line. . . . — 24 Comments

  1. Have you tried ordering a Happy Meal lately, especially when the cashier’s first language isn’t English?
    First, you must specify what kind (cheeseburger, burger or chicken nuggets). Then fries or apple slices? Milk, juice, chocolate milk, or soda (and what kind of soda if they don’t have a serve yourself soda fountain).

    Usually I order it faster than the cashier can push buttons, so I end up repeating each item several times. Then they ask you if you want a boy’s or girl’s toy and if it’s to go.

    Why is this so damn hard? Too many choices I guess.

  2. Have you tried ordering a Happy Meal lately, especially when the cashier’s first language isn’t English?
    First, you must specify what kind (cheeseburger, burger or chicken nuggets). Then fries or apple slices? Milk, juice, chocolate milk, or soda (and what kind of soda if they don’t have a serve yourself soda fountain).

    Usually I order it faster than the cashier can push buttons, so I end up repeating each item several times. Then they ask you if you want a boy’s or girl’s toy and if it’s to go.

    Why is this so damn hard? Too many choices I guess.

  3. Hey now, I submitted my criticism of these thoughtless burger repositories first! Oh well, at least you didn’t slip-up in the drive-through. I’m going to stick a potato in the tailpipe of the next rude person I encounter special ordering meals for a family of twelve in the drive-through line. But they’ll probably just end up eating it.
    https://thoughts2ponder.blogspot.com/

  4. Hey now, I submitted my criticism of these thoughtless burger repositories first! Oh well, at least you didn’t slip-up in the drive-through. I’m going to stick a potato in the tailpipe of the next rude person I encounter special ordering meals for a family of twelve in the drive-through line. But they’ll probably just end up eating it.
    https://thoughts2ponder.blogspot.com/

  5. I am definitely on board with you on this one!!! People’s level of civility in general (driving, ordering food, buy products at a department store, talking on Cell phones)… pretty much suck.

    But I guess we are all a part of the problem

  6. I am definitely on board with you on this one!!! People’s level of civility in general (driving, ordering food, buy products at a department store, talking on Cell phones)… pretty much suck.

    But I guess we are all a part of the problem

  7. LOL – very funny…I’m one of the rude people, I guess. I always hold the mustard and onions because I find them totally gross. Plus Burger King’s commercial’s are all about ‘Have It Your Way’ – I’ll be damned if I don’t take advantage. 😉

    By the way, thanks for linking me. I’ve linked you back…

    webmiztris.diaryland.com

  8. LOL – very funny…I’m one of the rude people, I guess. I always hold the mustard and onions because I find them totally gross. Plus Burger King’s commercial’s are all about ‘Have It Your Way’ – I’ll be damned if I don’t take advantage. 😉

    By the way, thanks for linking me. I’ve linked you back…

    webmiztris.diaryland.com

  9. I think maybe its at least partly a parent vs. grandparent perspective. Grandparents don’t care what anyone else thinks, feels, needs or wants. They are focused 110% on their grandchildren with the full intent of making sure they are spoiled beyond any hope for recovery. Parents, on the other hand, don’t put up with the crap, don’t fall for the pouty faces, make you eat your veggies, and insist that you wear a coat when its cold out. Anecdotal evidence available upon request.

    -G

  10. I think maybe its at least partly a parent vs. grandparent perspective. Grandparents don’t care what anyone else thinks, feels, needs or wants. They are focused 110% on their grandchildren with the full intent of making sure they are spoiled beyond any hope for recovery. Parents, on the other hand, don’t put up with the crap, don’t fall for the pouty faces, make you eat your veggies, and insist that you wear a coat when its cold out. Anecdotal evidence available upon request.

    -G

  11. That reminds me of the time I was at the grocery store, waiting in a line of 6 other people (it was peak hours, around 5-6PM) and was wondering what the hell the hold up was. It was taking FOREVER! So, I gooseneck around some people and you know what I saw? Some asshole with their kid who was sliding each and every item in her basket across the scanner (because “she enjoys it so.”)!!! An when the clerk tried to pick up the pace by scanning something herself, the kid would throw a fit and start screaming and the mother/grandmother/aunt-whatever it was accompanying her would just reiterate how much little “Heather” liked scanning the items herself. Some people are just as retarded as their kids. Aaaiiiiggh!

  12. That reminds me of the time I was at the grocery store, waiting in a line of 6 other people (it was peak hours, around 5-6PM) and was wondering what the hell the hold up was. It was taking FOREVER! So, I gooseneck around some people and you know what I saw? Some asshole with their kid who was sliding each and every item in her basket across the scanner (because “she enjoys it so.”)!!! An when the clerk tried to pick up the pace by scanning something herself, the kid would throw a fit and start screaming and the mother/grandmother/aunt-whatever it was accompanying her would just reiterate how much little “Heather” liked scanning the items herself. Some people are just as retarded as their kids. Aaaiiiiggh!

  13. I find it amazing that people will go to fast food places and order a burger as if it were an item in a four star dining establishment. Who cares if a super-sized, double lettuce, no onion, toasted bun burger is cooked medium rare or medium. Just stuff it in your face and get on with your life.

  14. I find it amazing that people will go to fast food places and order a burger as if it were an item in a four star dining establishment. Who cares if a super-sized, double lettuce, no onion, toasted bun burger is cooked medium rare or medium. Just stuff it in your face and get on with your life.

  15. Don’t feel picked on in the least. That’s the policy in our house: take it or leave it. Naturally, once we come to learn that Little Johnny is Just Never Going To Eat Tomato Soup, we don’t hoist it upon him. But he is golly well going to try it first.

    I do wish that policy were used upon me growing up. I was hatefully picky, and that was catered to so badly, that I didn’t even try pizza until I was in tenth grade. And that’s because I was on a date with Mr. Super Cute Jock, and he took me to a pizza parlour! What am I supposed to say?? “Um, no, thanks, I’ll just, um, nibble on this here breadstick…”

  16. Don’t feel picked on in the least. That’s the policy in our house: take it or leave it. Naturally, once we come to learn that Little Johnny is Just Never Going To Eat Tomato Soup, we don’t hoist it upon him. But he is golly well going to try it first.

    I do wish that policy were used upon me growing up. I was hatefully picky, and that was catered to so badly, that I didn’t even try pizza until I was in tenth grade. And that’s because I was on a date with Mr. Super Cute Jock, and he took me to a pizza parlour! What am I supposed to say?? “Um, no, thanks, I’ll just, um, nibble on this here breadstick…”

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