The more I thought about that bumper sticker last night, the more I liked it. Lots of other people seemed to like it, too. Yes. I really, really liked that bumper sticker. So I made a banner with that motto on it and submitted it to Blog Explosion.

Whoops, immediately found someone who DIDN’T like the motto.

Oh well. They’re right, I guess it might be offensive to someone, somewhere. I’m not mad or anything, just disappointed. And I’m glad they have standards. But I still think it was cool, and excellent advice for everyone. Sigh.

Does anyone ever really outgrow being frightened by a nightmare? I’m still waiting to step across that particular threshhold of maturity. (along with many other maturity threshholds.)

Last night I dreamed that my children were being accosted by a large scrufty leering man with bad teeth and worse grammar. He seemed vaguely familiar somehow, but that didn’t stop me from whirling around and kicking him right into next week. When I woke up this morning, or rather, this afternoon, I noticed that my alarm clock was gone from the top of the dresser. Then, I noticed that a faint beeping sound was coming from across the room. Limping over there, I found my alarm clock on top of some shoes in my husband’s open closet. I turned it off and limped back to the dresser to put it back where it belonged. As I was limping towards the bathroom, I suddenly realized that I was limping. Further investigation revealed that there is a big bruise on top of my toes. Coincidence? Yeah, probably. Hahahahaha

Conclusion reached: Do not EVER mess with my children. Even in my dreams. I will clean your clock cleaner than it has ever been cleaned in your life. And then, I guess I will also KICK that same clock across the room.

A few minutes ago I saw this same scrufty man in a movie trailer, on television. It was Tom Hanks, in his role as the ‘hobo’ on ‘The Polar Express.’

Careful, Tom. I’ve got your number now.

Now. Why in the world would my subconscious cast TOM HANKS as the villain? Even my DREAM should know better.

To quote Yul Brynner: It’s a puzzlement.

Jeepers, Tom. Don’t be a dick.