In case anybody was wondering why I was up and blogging at the asscrack of dawn, it’s because the plumber was on his way to fix my kitchen faucet.

I think the main reason why plumbers always come at the asscrack of dawn is so their own asscrack sticking out from beneath the sink will pale in comparison.

This is merely an opinion, of course. But I can state for a fact that this particular asscrack under my particular sink was pretty darn pale.

And by ‘asscrack of dawn,’ I am referring to any time before noon.