It’s okay with me if you want to use MY PERSONAL STALL in the restroom at school. Honest, I don’t mind that you’re in MY PERSONAL STALL. Take your time in there. I don’t mind waiting.

I’m sure all the other stalls are both functional and attractive, and they no doubt have reading material glued to the inside of their doors that is interesting and educational. I’m sure that in the long run, they are no different than my own PERSONAL STALL.

The fact remains, however, that each of those other stalls is someone else’s PERSONAL STALL. You, intelligent being that you obviously are, used unerring judgment in choosing MY PERSONAL STALL over all the other choices you might have made. I salute your taste. I don’t blame you one bit for wanting MY PERSONAL STALL.

Therefore, please understand that I mean what I say, when I say, take your time. I’m fine with the fact that you are in there. The building is kind of chilly tonight, and I’m sure your ass is doing a fine job of warming the seat. If I ever get a chance to use MY PERSONAL STALL, I will be grateful for your thoughtfulness in warming it up for me.

Did I mention that I don’t mind waiting?

And what in the world are those noises?