Whenever the phone rings before noon, I know it is one of two things: a family emergency, or a stranger who wants to sell me something. Knowing this, I always answer the phone at that hour in a voice that would qualify for a Hitchcock movie.

Emergencies and intruding strangers are often greeted with the same tone of voice, I’ve noticed over the years.

No one who knows me well would EVER call in the morning.

We live out in the country. It’s amazing how many home-schooled kids are running wild in the road all day. Or selling candy door-to-door. Or distributing pamphlets which tell me that homeschooled students of a particular religion are the salvation of the universe. With all that running wild, selling candy, and distributing, I wonder when they learn to read, write, and use their brains? And who is home-schooling them? Because I know for a fact that most of those parents have day jobs. In other words, those kids are alone all day with a Beka workbook, a case of Reese’s cups, full access to Jerry Springer, a bicycle, and at least two younger siblings. I’m sorry, but it all smacks of free day care to me.

And speaking of smacks, if one more kid rings my doorbell and tries to sell me a candle or an overpriced candy bar, with a complimentary Watchtower, I just might do that.

For a real school, I’m glad to help. But not for this. Absolutely not for this.

REAL schoolkids do their soliciting in the afternoon. When it’s time to get up anyway.

I’d put a ‘do not disturb’ sign on the door, but I don’t think these poor kids could read it. Nobody ever taught them how.

Some people who homeschool their kids do a fantastic job. But most do not do any kind of job at all. They just got mad and pulled their kids out, and now they haven’t a clue how to do a job they were very good at criticizing someone else for doing, before.

I wonder why it so often happens that the people who criticize and complain the most, wouldn’t know how to do that particular job if they were trained for ten years? Whine, whine, whine.

You know, like I’m doing right now.